"If you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland."

This is a quote from a poem that I love; I've been thinking about it a lot lately and it rings true no matter what. I often find myself thinking "what if?" or "why this?" and then I remember this poem. This year I want to enjoy where I am instead of wishing I was anywhere else...because, very often, I do wish I could be anywhere but where I am, no matter where I am. 

Of course there are things that I will still continue to hope, wish and pray for....but I need to be here, right now, doing what I'm doing; it'd be nice to enjoy the hell out of it. 


Today I'm grateful:

• for the chance to make things right. it's getting easier to make amends right after i do something stupid rather than dragging it out for weeks. maybe someday i'll get to a point that i won't need to make so many amends...but for now, i'm grateful for where i am...
• to know that I am worthwhile.
• SUU basketball game...even though they sucked it up and lost at the end..
• change. sometimes i hate it at the time, but usually look back and think, "wow, this shit is pretty okay."
• my job. a lot of people are losing hours and not working as much as they'd like to work....mine have stayed steady and full-time. i'm very grateful for that.
• A.A. and all the wonderful people that I get to associate with because of it.
• Calvin and Gretch. I love going home to those cute cats. 
• Joey :) 
• My dad
• my grandparents, even when they stress me out. 
• my sponsor--i finally asked someone to be my sponsor who i want to actually work with. she is such an amazing lady and i'm very blessed that she is willing to work with me. i wish you could all meet her; you'd love her, too. 
• looking back at the past and learning from it. 
• toenail polish. 
• ramen...even though i'm about done eating it forever. breakfast, lunch, and dinner = ramen. gag. ha, oh well...it's keeping me alive!
• friends. good friends. 
• family. all of them.