What I Wish I'd known...

Today as I walked in the SUU to drop off some forms to the Financial Aid office, I had an overwhelming thought. WHY IN THE HELL WAS I IN SCHOOL FROM AGES 18-23?? WHY?
Now lets backtrack here...I started at SUU the semester following my high school graduation. Pretty normal, right? I did okay, but hated it for the most part. I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I had people telling me I'd be a wonderful teacher, which of course I could, but I didn't want to do that. I knew I would be miserable if I decided to pursure my elementary education degree. After dropping out and moving to Provo to sort things out, I decided that I'd be a high school teacher. Go me. I came home, took the Education 2000 class and almost shot myself in the face. There was no way I would ever become a teacher if I couldn't ever stand taking the first required class for that major, so I crossed teaching off my list and proceeded to fail out of school a good five times. And let me tell you folks, that takes a great deal of talent.
After moving home from Provo I landed a job working with at-risk youth. For the first few months I only worked graveyards so I didn't get to know the program or the youth very well. When I finally started working on a day time shift, I fell in love. I knew exactly what I wanted to do: work with youth, but not teach in a school setting. After three years of working in group homes, I figured I should probably get back in school, finish my degree and perhaps go to graduate school. I am currently about a year away from having my bachelors in Sociology. YAY for that; I couldn't be happier.
I wish I would have known all along what I wanted to do. I wish I would have waited to do school until I was sure on what I wanted to be when "I grow up". Although I don't think I'd take back any of the experiences I've had while getting to this point, it sure woulda been a whole lot less expensive...especially since the government is now paying for my school since I'm an old fart (24 years old).

So, really...I wish I would have just been more of a free spirit (if that's even possible) during the last five years. If I ever have to re-do my life, I'd start with that. I'll start school when I'm 24, go for free, and actually have a plan.


dear netflix,

Dear Netflix,
Thank you for the free trial. I think I'll stick with you. You've cured my boredom, opened new windows to me, and have enlightened me with a lot of new and exciting films. Thank you.



if you want me to poke my eyes out...

  • Make me go to church. Any amount church of any church sends me into ADD mode times 1000. I'm not sure why this happens, it's probably all in my mind but regardless of why, it happens. Example: I went to midnight mass (no, I'm not Catholic) on Christmas Eve with some friends and even though it's new and different I still get restless and want to throw myself in front of a bus. Call me dramatic but this really happens. 
  • Make me wake up before 8am without purpose or cause. I like sleeping in and unless there is a valid reason (work or school) to wake up before then makes me wanna gouge my eyes out with a spoon. There is no reason for anyone to be up before the sun without a motive, so don't even think about making me. 
  • Give me a boring lecture. I can't count the number of times I go to class having read the material that was assigned only to find that the professor is going to re-read the same information to me by way of power point slides. I literally have to force myself to stay seated and remain silent, while inside of me I am fuming and restless. I can read...I'm in college. Don't read shit to me that I have already read. Thanks.
  • Put on a movie with no meaning or message. I cannot handle sitting through a movie with no purpose. Now, don't get me wrong, I love chick flicks and it's a little embarrassing how many times I've actually seen How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days or Ten Things I Hate About You, but put on an "action/drama" film and I'm gonna stab your eyes out and then my own. I do not enjoy watching people kill each other for fun, watching stupid dudes race their lame cars, or movies about the world blowing up...not my thing. Don't do it. 
  • Romance novels. Gag me and then poke my eyes out. Enough said.
  • Tell a stupid joke more than once. In fact, tell it every time I see you. And don't make it a short joke, either. Drag it on, and on, and on....
  • Speaking of dragging on and on, tell me every detail of everything you did and ate since the last time I saw you. Really? I'll ask if I wanna know. Thanks!
  • Put your 2 year-old on ADD meds. I'll poke your eyes out for you. Don't do it. Your two-year-old doesn't have ADD or bipolar, you do. Don't eff their life up to make yours easier, please and thank you. 

Okay, I could go on for hours about all the things that make me wanna poke my eyes (and yours) out but I'll be done for today. Much peace and love to all. :)

*after reviewing this post i concluded that i may or may not have ADHD. thoughts?

happy birthday dad!

I'd like to give a little shout-out to my dad today since it's his b-day! yay! Happy birthday, ya old fart.

But in all seriousness, my dad is the coolest dude ever (tied with Joey). He's the most giving, compassionate person I know. He is always putting everyone else before himself and has done so much for me it's unreal; even when I do the stupidest things on earth I can always count on my dad to be there for me.

He is also one of the most sarcastic people on earth...who woulda thunk? Some people wonder where I get my dry sense of humor, but I only learned from the best! I love my dad so much! Thanks for all you do, father! Love you! Hope your birthday is super!!!


can't wait til tomorrow...

The best thing, to me, about Christmas is the day after. Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas and I love giving. I love the feeling that Christmas brings and how much more giving everyone is in general. But like anything, it gets old. I can't handle all the gaggy decorations, the TREEs inside, the sick lights, and of course, the music. Like I said, it's okay for a while, but since most people start these oh-so-wonderful traditions around Thanksgiving, a month of it is PLENTY.

I love the day when the tree comes down, the decorations get put away, the house gets back to normal, and no more non-stop Christmas music on the radio. Ah, only 24 more hours to go!

Merry Christmas!

YAY! Merry Christmas, everyone! Hope your day is as awesome, chill, and fun as mine has and is continuing to be. I get to talk to my sister again today (4 hours yesterday)! Can't wait! I love that little baby cakes so much! She's my BFF and the best sister in the world.

Anyway, Merry Christmas. Hope everyone got what they wanted! I know I sure did!


did i mention?

  • I love my real family
  • I love my pretend family
  • I love my baby sis 
  • I love Joey Cat
  • I love all of my friends 
  • I miss all of my friends that don't reside in Cedar City.
  • I am STOKED I passed all of my classes and am no longer on Academic Probation!
  • I can't wait to go back to school on Jan. 4, 2010!
  • My Jr. Jazz team is jazzy, and I think it's absolutely fab.
  • I have a car and that's a big accomplishment for me at this point in my life. 
  • My bed is better than your bed, unless you're April cause her bed is AMAZING.
  • I am excited to learn to play my Ukulele, finally. 
  • The only thing I've had to "eat" today is a Rockstar this morning for breakfast. I think my stomach is eating itself. 
  • I can't wait to go eat Taco's with my "family"
  • I get to talk to my baby sis on Thursday! YAY!
  • My parents are most definitely cooler than yours. Sorry, but you should be jeal. 
  • My friends have the cutest kids on earth. Every single one of them. And I'm glad that I can be their "Aunt Jill". I like that. 
  • I feel so happy. I haven't been this happy in a while. Pretty much, my life rocks right now and I wouldn't trade it for anything...unless you're offering to take me the Hawaii. That could most definitely be arranged.

my (pretend) fam

I'd just like to give a shout out to my pretend family, because although they aren't blood related they are some of my very best friends and without them I'd be pretty lonely/pathetic (not to say that I'm not pathetic regardless). Plus, my real family is pretty awesome as well. I'm just a lucky duck. Anyway, I'd like to introduce ya'll to my (pretend) family.

Most of you will recall my ex-running partner, April. April and I have been friends since H.S. (high school, duh) and have played on teams together, been running partners, started the VCCPDC (volunteer Cedar City Police Department Crew, duh), and co-presidents of the B.R.A. (nunya business what that means). Besides all of those fine accomplishments, April is like a sister to me and I love her to death. And she's gonna kill me for posting this picture, but since she won't let people take real pics of her...this is all I got! SUCKA!

The next member of my (pretend) family that I'd like to introduce is Tennile. Tennile and I have only been friends for about a year, but she is one of the sweetest and most caring people I've ever met. She is always up for a good time and willing to try new things, which is probably the raddest thing on earth. I know that if I ever need anything, I can count on Tennile! Love her guts.

The newest member of my (pretend) fam is John. Now, although I've only known John for a couple of months, he's probably one of the funniest people I've ever met. John is hilarious. Seriously, pretty much everything that comes out of John's mouth makes me laugh. He's a riot. John and I are slowly, but surely, making a uke band. We both have ukes and neither of us can actually play them, but we're working on it. We finally got them tuned last night...so we're well on our way.

And so there you have it...my pretend family. Although various other people attend on occasion, it's normally the four of us just chillin'. We welcome and encourage anyone to attend our nightly family dinners, basketball sessions, and ukulele jams, so if you weren't mentioned but would like to be a part of our "family", feel free. We don't discriminate.

more pics from photo shoot


Dear Body,

I don't know what else you want me to do? I went to bed at 8pm last night and slept until 10am, why are you still tired? Wake the eff up.




yeah, just call me nanny jill...

Today I got to play with my favorite kids on earth, minus their baby sis Kenlee. I picked them up from daycare at 3pm and the fun began...First we went to the new pet store in Cedar, which by the way is awesome! We held all sorts of animals and spent a while just looking around. After that we decided we'd have a photo shoot so we could give new pics of them to their mom. We ran home, changed clothes, and I attempted to do Kaidence's hair. I have no idea why I try to do other peoples hair when I rarely do my own, but that's beside the point!

Here's what we came up with:

Those are just a few of the many shots we took. Aren't these the cutest kids you've ever seen?! It was so cold outside and I thought we might die, but we made it!

P.S. don't judge my photography skills. I'm just tryin' to be creative for Amanda's Christmas present this year...and this is all I got. Take it or leave it, baby.


the week of basketball and stuff

This week seemed to FLY by so quickly that I barely even realized that tomorrow is FRIDAY! (well actually it will be Friday in 10 short minutes, yay!)

This week was pretty good. No school, tons of basketball, and a little bit of work. We had two practices for the 7th/8th grade team I'm coaching and the girls are actually starting to remember the plays, so it's getting to be less of a nightmare. Tonight I was the only coach there (out of 4), but it went well and we had a blast...and I guess that's the important thing at this age. I have to keep telling myself it's okay if they aren't very good because "the important thing is that they have fun"...Secretly, I wanna rip my hair out and give up on them sometimes but then they do or say something so funny that I can't help but just smile and remember that it's gonna be okay.

On Tuesday I took Kaidence, Mark and Kenlee to the SUU vs. UNLV mens basketball game. Holy moly it was a good game....until the second half. It was still lots of fun, even if SUU did get their asses kicked in the end. The kids had a blast and they definitely reminded me of why I don't have my own kids! Three kids is A LOT of freaking work--even if they are behaving! Thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow her kids when I feel like I want a baby. It cures me every time! Love their guts, but so glad I don't have any.

Wednesday was totally intense. April and I went to the CHS vs. CVHS boys basketball games. Yes, games. We watched 3 games in a row, totalling to 5 hours of sitting on the oh-so-horrible-bleachers. CHS won all the games and it was a totally fun day. PLUS, I found a little hottie to crush on. I mean, I know I'm 24 and he's like 17, but MAN...I'm Cedar High's biggest fan now. WATCH OUT!

And for all of you worried parents out there...
NO, I'm not really going to hunt down the sexy little 17 year old CHS basketball player...yet. 

I'll wait til he's legal, at least!  


life and stuff

  • I get to talk to Enna tomorrow. Ask me if i'm excited? And if you really had to ask, you don't know me. 
  • I'm at work tired as hell right now. I'd rather be in bed.
  • Snow=my worst nightmare
  • I'm in a slump.


guess what?!

i'm done with school (this semester), Bitches! 


and i even passed my classes. yayyyyyy


my holidays will be spent doing...

1. Sleep. I feel so deprived of the stuff lately that I can hardly function at times. My life got turned upside down when I had to start going to school every morning by 8am. I know, that's not even super early..but for me, it's death. So over Christmas break, I'll be catchin' some zzzzzz's for sure!

2. Work. Duh...gotta do it. If you ever wonder where I am (and I'm not sleeping), I'll be at the Depot. Drop by and say hello. :)

3. Basketball. Ah, yessss. We went and shot around last night; I need to start going more often because I love it and I suck.

4. Traveling. I mean, not far or anywhere super exotic. But I have plans...and I'm excited for them. Be jeal.

5. Family. I'll play some cards, eat some candy, probably watch a few flicks and just chill with the fam. It's been a few years since I was able to enjoy them over Christmas. Can't wait.

6. Friends. I'm sure I'll get lots of play time with the friends in over the break (because I make time with work and school, so I'm sure it'll be fine without school!).

Wow...this turned out to be quite the boring list. Now here's something to spice up my life (and probably yours too) a little...

1. partying every day all day non-stop.
2. dance parties
3. eating unlimited amounts of grilled cheese
4. moving to NYC and opening our bar called "meet me upstairs"
5. driving across the country, stopping everytime I feel like it.
6. going to some jazz games; having them actually win!
7. and, sleep, of course. because you know what i say.."gotta sleep now, cause they won't let me in hell"


only 3 finals to go, baby!!

I did it! I think that I passed all my classes! 

I only have 3 finals to go and I'm done for this semester. Feels good! Ah, yes. Christmas vaca, here I come! 
(and by that I mean, HELLO DEPOT!)


ah, someone else has a crazier family than i do....

This weekend I was able to take a random road trip to the Salt Lake area with John and Britt tagged along, too. First we dropped John off in Provo and headed for Lehi where I was able to see Trentie Poo for the first time in a couple of months. Then Annie Brown came over and got me after work and we went to sleep.

Yesterday I went with Annie and her family to her dad's moms house. When we walked in, the very first thing anyone asked was if I was her girlfriend (she had warned me that this would be happening). I replied that, "yes, I was" and that we were engaged. I had a sick nasty heart ring on to prove it...Anyway, the next few hours were to say the least very interesting. I have always known my family was kind of quiet and possibly on the boring side, but I could have never imagined how "normal" they really are until this exeperience at Annie's family ginger bread decorating contest.

Some highlights of the day were:
1. Annie's lesbian cousin's GF almost beating Annie's obnoxious brother up, at least twice. She had a glare that could kill.

2. Annie's ginger bread house not staying together even though she has had years of practice; mine was awesome.

3. The drive up and back. John makes things fun.

4. Seeing Trentie Poo and Annie B. I miss their guts so much.

5. Pretending to date Annie Brown, the most Mormon girl I know, in front of her entire family.

Thanks John for letting me drive up with you! I had a freakin' blast!


ECRC got some fence poles!!

You heard it, the ECRC got posts for a fence!! I didn't take a pic because it was dark and snowing, but don't worry, I'll get it soon enough.

I just knew that all of you would be so happy to hear this good news! YAY!


i should probably document this or do my hair more often...

and by "do my hair", I really just mean not having it in a nasty side pony tail...

yeah, post my on the jazzy hoe blog...i dare you.

my thankful list of 2009

Okay, so here's the dealio. I used to love making lists and I did it often. But this year I feel like if I tried to make a thankful list I would go on for three years and I'd still miss a bunch! This year has been one of growth, happiness, and a lot of learning. Since so much has happened and I have so many things to be grateful for, I think I'll just say that this year has been grand.

I am very thankful for my friends and my family and for always supporting me. Love you all!


thug thursday thanksgiving

These pictures pretty much sum up my Thanksgiving this year...

It was a good day thanks to Joey Bear, the rest of my awesome fam, and Thug Thursday. Dinner was great, movie with the sis-in-law was good, and hangin' with Joe Bear all day was fantastic. I love my family so much and I'm glad I got to spend Thanksgiving with them this year. I'm sad my baby sis couldn't be here, but we'll have plenty more years together at the kids table in the livingroom. Livin' the dream, baby.



These are the family pics for 2009. Woot. I miss my baby sis!


my latest obsession

If you know me at all, you know I'm a little OCD...as in I tend to get obsessed with things often and for long periods of time. Sometimes it's one song that I'll have on repeat for weeks, eating nothing but grilled cheese for weeks, or watching the same movie every day for a month.

Well, here is the latest of my hot addictions:

Check it out. Also, if you like it, check out the website, it's a pretty sweet concept. Click here or http://www.playingforchange.com/

Peace out!

Playing For Change | Peace Through Music

Playing For Change | Peace Through Music

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hello from the parents basement!

Hi, all.

If you're reading this, leave me a comment. I always wonder who reads this blog of all blogs. It's cool if you're a blog stalker; I do it, too.

Just say hey or whatever you wanna tell me.



Weddings with Jill: 1010 (how to transform your church gym into the reception of your dreams...)

 I first came up with this post in April of this year. I've made some revisions that, I think, have really made this post "re-blog worthy". Anyway, enough chit-chat, here it is:

How to go from this:

 To this:

In no particular order, here are sex SIX simple steps to take in order to achieve a successful "gym wedding".

1. Utilize the stage. Really though. Think of all the fantastic things you can do with a STAGE! It's not every day or wedding you have access to such a comodity. One thing to make sure of, though, is that your wedding colors aline with the color scheme of the gym. Sometimes people forget about the curtain colors and it just turns into a big awkward rainbow fest. Don't let that be you! Plan ahead. Plan colors according to your cultural hall colors. Some of the best stage ideas I've run across have been the food area (little buffet up where everyone can see), the line standing up higher than everyone else (less guests come through the line = less people you have to speak with), and my personal favorite has been to have the stage be the dance floor. If these ideas don't strike your fancy, maybe just adding some flowers or other decor to the backdrop and leaving it be would work best.

2. Use the carpeted walls to your advantage.  If you're one of the unlucky bride's whose church was built after 1970 and there is no carpet on the walls, just substitute the word "Carpet/flannel" to "duct tape"...same concept. While I've never actually encountered anyone utilizing the carpeted walls, I've got some pretty good ideas on what would look good. Think flannel boards (the kind you used in the good old Primary days). Since you're getting married and that most likely means you're in love, hearts are always a go. Cut flannel hearts out in your wedding colors and simply slap them on the wall, no adhesive will be needed, which is nice due to the savings on time as well as money (tape can get expensive, ya know?).  Again, like the stage, make sure that your chosen wedding colors don't clash with the wall carpet. Seriously so tacky when that happens. One other great thing about wall carpet is that it makes for a nice backdrop in all of your wedding pictures, so long as it matches your theme/colors. It also adds a nice texture and blends everything together. Wall carpet it pretty much vital to having a successful gym reception, but if you're one of the unlucky one's, drapes can be hung for backdrops so don't lose hope! Figure out what works best for you and just try to go with the flow of things...

3. Do everything in your power to disguise the fact that you're actually on a basketball court. Yes, it's true. I love basketball and it might be appropriate for me to have a "Basketball" themed wedding, but not everyone can or wants to pull that one off! And can we blame them?! Streamers, fabric, cardboard, or regular printer paper are all options available in order to cover the basketball court lines. Or, if available to you, bringing in carpeting or other flooring options would be a classy path to take. Regardless of how you choose to disguise your gym floor, just remember that a few lines here and there never hurt anyone. Plus, it'll give the kids something to work with when making up games to play at your boring wedding they got dragged to by their parents. 

4. Dim those lights, baby. But really...it makes everything look better.

5. Have a cry-room.  Chances are, if you're reading this, you're from Utah, Mormon, or at least know what I'm talking about. Use the Relief Society Room for a "cry room". You've got 132 cousins on your dads side of the family and 78 on your moms side, and about half of them have babies. You're gonna need a place for nursing (ew, barf) mothers because you totally don't want them topless in your gorgeous reception, and a place for bawling brats to go. If you want to get totally crazy, which you probably do, because you're an 8 cow wife, provide a few cribs or beds for toddlers, some rocking chairs, blankets, diapers and of course snacks for the kiddies. They could choke on the carrots in the jello, so make sure to have some plain jello for them.

6. Last but totally not least, make SURE the hoops are up... Unless you're having a basketball themed wedding, in which case you probably can't read this anyway. 

So there you have it, folks. Weddings made easy with Jill. Any questions can be left as a comment, or you may e-mail me at jdecker2000@gmail.com

Thanks and have a wonderful wedding!

Sorry I'm a blog slacker...

First of all, check out www.jazzyhoes.blogspot.com if you haven't lately. It's funny.

Secondly, I am not eating sugar or carbs for two weeks (south beach diet phase 1). I am on day 4 and kind of want to die. I didn't realize just how much I love bread, rice, and pasta. I knew, however, just how much I loved candy. :)

Lets just say it's been a rough 4 days. I'm cranky, tired, and have a headache. I don't feel like doing anything and I shit a lot. It's been fantastic so far! I've lost almost 10 pounds though, so I guess I can't complain too much!


eek! ECRC update, baby!

Okay, okay...calm down!

I know it's always exciting when the ECRC (Enoch City Recreation Complex, duh) updates come around, but contain yourselves. HERE IT IS:

Yeah, I know...right?!

THE TRENCHES HAVE BEGUN! And there was even a hint of pipe. Guess what that means, folks?! The sprinkler phase is in full swing. Hopefully we can get that finished before it snows...again.

Here's a shout-out to my fav ECRC committee member, Stacey! Good work, baby gurl. Love you!


I went to the Philippines today....

Today when Joey bear got home from school, we were both in an "I miss Enna bear mood". So what did we do? Sit around and cry? Heck no! We drove to the freaking Philippines. What a drive!

We actually didn't even stop in Naga where Enna will be located. We simply just honked and waved and kept driving so we could make it home in time for dinner!

I miss my BFF/sister. Can't wait til Christmas so I can actually talk to her. yay. :)


to whom it may concern

Sorry my blog is lacking in updates and content lately. I always think of things I should blog about in the middle of the night or at other random times throughout the day, and then when I'm here trying to blog I have a brain fart.

Maybe someday I'll be smart and carry a pen with me. But if you know me, you know that will never, ever happen.


FML status

Today was a bummer day in my world due to the snow. Yep, that's right, it snowed today for the first time this winter. Barf.

I guess now I can look forward to spring without jumping the gun too much! And at least

JAZZZZZZ Season is here now.

I guess my life isn't so bad.


a little ECRC lovin'

I know you've all been dying to know what I have found out about the Enoch City Recreational Complex and you may be a tad bit disappointed when I tell you this post really doesn't have to do with it.

It's funny. It's in Enoch. And I like the ECRC. So I thought I'd combine them.
Anyway, earlier today April and I were driving in Enoch on our daily rounds of the ol' town and noticed this sign for the first time. Is it new? Or have we blindly driven by it a million times? One will never know, but I laughed my little ass off all the same!

Stop weeds? What?! Is there a weed control team or what?!

I love Enoch.
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i should really not be blogging...

But who are we kidding?! I would rather do almost anything than my homework usually.

So here we are...another last night of absolutely nothingness that I love so much.


birthday shout out to my co-blogger of jazzy hoes, Lindsey

Hope you have a happy 24th ya Jazzy Hoe. 



ECRC (and for you losers who don't know what the means, it's Enoch City Rec. Complex. Duh)

After numerous attempts to contact the ECRC committee to get the latest updates with no success, I'll just have to keep you readers on your tippy toes a little longer. I guess it's come down to the point where I'm either going to have to forfit this section of my blog, or get down and dirty and do some of the work myself.

Since I'm Jill and I never give up, I've chosen to dig deeper, go farther, and all that good stuff. This weeks update=lame. But if you can give me until next Monday, I promise you won't regret it.

For now, enjoy your week and good day!

new updates on Jazzy Hoe blog

There are some new updates to the www.jazzyhoes.blogspot.com blog, so check them out!

Also, we have some really exciting news coming up. You won't wanna miss it. Check back soon for more updates!! xoxo


TGIF, Monsters, and no sleep...

Yay. Finally. Freaking. Friday. 

I got like 3.3 hours of sleep last night and if you know me, you know that I'm going to either cry a lot today or be the biggest bitch on the planet and quite possibly both.

On a different note, I'm about to send Enna the second letter since she's been gone. If you know me, you also know this is a huge accomplishment considering one of my best friends has been gone since June and I've yet to write her once. Yeah, I'm a bad friend sometimes. And I'm a sucky letter writer. Sue me.

I just finished the final touches on a paper that's due this morning. I'm not sure how I feel about it; I'm sure I could do a much better job but this will have to do.

I'm going to go drink 5 Monsters now. And tonight, maybe I'll go see Wild Things just to live on the edge..and stuff. Hope your weekend rocks.

*oh and look forward to my Monday Madness post...it's gonna be a good one. I can feel it.


at this very moment...

  • i should be writing a paper
  • i should be sleeping
  • i should be studying for my mid-term tomorrow
  • i should be working on a presentation 
  • i should be being productive
 but instead...
  • i am f-booking
  • i am blogging...
  • i am daydreaming about winter break and not having school.
  • i am wishing i was sleeping.
  • i am doing everything in my power not to be productive.
  • i am about to go crazy because i procrastinate so much.
  • i am going to sign out of blogger and use my brain on something worthwhile.

do you believe in magic and soulmates?

I don't believe in magic. And I don't know if I believe in soul mates, either. Regardless though, of whether or not I believe in soul mates, it's a nice, happy thought. 
I came across this quote a few months ago and was reminded of it today: 
Somewhere someone is traveling furiously toward you, at incredible speed, traveling day and night, through blizzards and desert heat,   across torrents, through narrow passes. But will he know where to find you, recognize you when he sees you?
by John Ashbery (Taken from his poem At North Farm)

That quote makes me think about everyone I know. And everyone that I have yet to meet. It's kind of crazy thinking about how many millions of people there are in this world and that just one could be meant for me. Maybe I'll try and take on a more optimistic outlook on the soul mate front and be more open to the idea. 

Wouldn't life be great if your "soul mate" was just written down somewhere and all you had to do was give them a call and everything would obviously work out peachy for the two of you. And naturally you'd live happily ever after...

oh and i apologize i'm an unromantic freak. :)


kissing with Jill: 1010

A kiss is a kiss...Or is it? Sometimes I wonder why it's so much fun to kiss some people and so awful to kiss others?

Note: This is just me thinking at 4am. Lets not read too much into this post, okay? :)

I'm not going to lie, I've kissed a lot of people in my day. I'm not ashamed and I'm not bragging, it's just a fact. It's weird how sometimes there is an insta connection (what we like to call chemistry) and sometimes there is an insta turn-off.
I'm waiting for the day that I am with someone who I can actually like and have chemistry with. So far it seems I've got one or the other, but not both--here's to hoping that one day it'll happen.

Top 5 things I require to be satisfied with a kiss:
1. No cold sores. Or any sores at all. I might love you, but I don't have to like you (or your sore).

2. Don't drool on me, please and thank you. You aren't a baby, keep it under control.

3. Chapstick is rad. Use it. I don't wanna eat your dead lip skin.

4. Lets be comfortable with one another. I guess I don't need to know your name as long as I feel okay about being with you...

5. Take it easy. My face isn't food and you're not starving. Just relax.

Over the past couple of years I had decided that I didn't like to cuddle, be touched, etc. I have recently decided to revoke that notion. I like it.


flashback Tuesday: physical contact levels with Jill

I first came up with this post about a year ago and if you want to see the older version you can click HERE. Even if you've read the levels of physical contact before, read it again for pleasure and to see where you are currently standing in my world of no contact.Here we go:

I've never been a touchy feely kind of person and I have never really understood those that are. For instance, in middle school I had friends who would run down the hall to hug me after being separated for 45 whole minutes. I would always dodge them or just hug them to be nice--secretly I thought they were crazy...and I still do!

I've decided there are different levels of physical contact that I have in my life. Most people have certain "bubbles" or "personal space" they need to have to feel comfortable. I've been told that not only do I have a "big bubble", I have my own planet. [I'm happy to inform everyone that after writing this over a year ago, my bubble has definitely expanded. I enjoy touching much more than I did then, however, I still hold to my levels of physical contact! I have added a few new levels as well, so watch out for those!!!]

Here we go:

The new level 1 of Jill's physical contact doesn't include any contact, just a little creep smile. This is when it's just too hard to do a genuine smile, you're really grossed out, or you can't think of anything else to do. If you've never received anything but a creep smile from me, it'd be cool if you left me alone now. Please and thank you.

The I-don't-wanna-touch-you-cause-I-might-get-a-disease THUMBS up! This pretty much sums up level 2. If you've ever receieved a thumbs up, but nothing more from me, you should probably shower or something. I might still like you, but I might just not wanna touch you. For instance, this one would be used for my good pal, Ern Dog at the Depot. Love his guts, but don't really wanna touch him. I love thumbs up though. So I'm not gonna lie, I use it quite often even on folks I'd lick.

Super less awkward than a handshake (because honestly who does that these days) and way better than actually touching a stranger. Enough said....

Although slightly awkward the first time, the infamous finger touch makes for a slightly romantic, non-threatening way of showing affection. Since the creation of the finger touch over a year ago, I have stopped using this one as much due to new friends, co-workers, and aquintances. I'm totally gonna bring this baby back though! Watch out everyone! Finger touches all around!

                                                                       LEVEL 5: FULL-HAND TOUCH
The finger touch can only last so long...so the hand touch makes for a nice upgrade. Make sure you feel comfortable before moving to this step. It can get a little intense, but so worth it. 

                                                                                     LEVEL 6:  AWKWARD SIDE HUG
This is the awkward side hug. The kind that happens when one, or both people involved feel uncomfortable or unsure of what to do. I find this happening to me more often than is probably necessary or even humanly possible. (Probably why I have officially coined the "finger" and "hand" touch moves). Don't feel bad if I'm awkward when I hug you, I am awkard about 88% of the time anyway...

Believe it or not, a few people actually fit into the "free hug" category with me. Once you're in, you're in and it's hard to get out (Ask my sister). I love hugging people that I love. Now that Anne will be gone for like 2 years I have no idea what I'm going to do besides squeeze the shiz outta Joey Bear. 

Kissing. I do enjoy kissing quite a lot. And a few people also fit into this level. Lucky if you're one of them! Too bad if you're not! 
(There is currently no one in this category. At least not after tomorrow when the sis leaves. I guess a year ago I was gettin' a lot more action than I am now...boo for that.)

The last and most intense level is licking. Air licks, real licks, any kind of licks. I give out licks fairly freely among my close friends and family members, much to their dismay. I've even got Joey (little bro) doing air licks now...he's such a bad ass. Love it. I'm happy to report that even a year later I'm still handin' out air licks like candy on Halloween. You know you want one...

So there you have it. Rate yourself on my physical contact scale to measure our friendship. If you're not pleased on where we are on the scale, let me know and I'll probably air lick you.