Goin to Cali

Wooooo! Goin to Cali for Christmas!!! Seeeee ya!

Oh, holy shit...

Once upon a time there was a girl named Jill. She moved to Las Vegas and moved in with her GF, Jordan. Jill didn't want to be gross, so for the first two weeks that she lived in Las Vegas. Well, as you may have guessed, after two weeks, Jill was FULL of shit. Literally.


Jordan went off to work [for the, I think, first time since I had moved in]; I went straight to the toilet. I sat, strained, pushed, almost fell off the toilet for almost an hour. Nothing. I decided that I'd go lie down and wait. I waited and about twenty minutes later--it was time.

I rushed to the bathroom and pushed one good, lonnnnng push. It hurt a bit but my stomach felt relieved to be empty. It wasn't my biggest poop, but it was comparable. I flushed.

"Oh shit", I thought. The water didn't go down, it rose up until it almost flowed out of the toilet. I looked around for a plunger but I had no such luck. Luckily the water didn't overflow; I just decided to pretend I didn't know what was going on. I would just act like I didn't know why it wouldn't flush. After a few hours, I really did forget that I had clogged the toilet...

____________________________________________________________________________________

Later that night Jordan was getting in the shower, used the bathroom and then flushed the toilet. Well, the toilet started to run over. She called frantically for Amanda to come and help her. Jordan strained her neck to turn the water off; Amanda found the plunger which was under the kitchen sick (WTF...who keeps a toilet plunger under their sink?!...no wonder I couldn't find it!!)

Well, Jordan didn't know how to plunge and neither did Amanda, so Jill to the rescue came along and plunged "Jordan's" mess; everything was taken care of and Jill saved the day.

Jordan, that was my poop clogging the toilet. Oh, yes....love. Isn't it great?! Thanks for taking my blame...and thanks for pooping at the most opportune moment possible. You may resume pooping in our bathroom now. Our toilet isn't defective...I am! :)

i'm the smartest person on earth: part 2

For a link to a similar situation less than a year ago...click here!

If you read my blog, you've read the link posted above. If not, read it.

Well then fast forward about a year. Similar story, but worse since it wasn't the first time I've done this.

Jordan and I drove to Utah for a funeral; weather was nice and we got there fine. As we were about to leave, a blizzard hit Cedar. Darn. I hate snow; Jordan loved it, so we played in it. I decided we could try and drive home. We hopped in the car and tried to take off...but the car wouldn't move! Jordan blamed it on her "Nevada" tires; right as she was getting out into the blizzard to push the car I realized that the emergency brake was on. Not wanting to look stupid, I played along and acted like we were stuck in a patch of snow. After a couple of minutes pushing, I released the brake, Jordan hopped in and we drove around Cedar for 40 minutes and then decided not to go back to Vegas until the next day.

Jordan, I love you and I'm sorry you had to "push" your car out of the snow! xoxo

oh the joys of paper thin walls: part 1

Have you ever lived in an apartment where the walls seem so thin it's like they are non-existent? 

Ever have the pleasure of listening to an old, dirty, construction worker, chronically drunk and his mid-40's, cocktail waitress girlfriend have sex but only on the days they aren't threatening the other persons life? 


Does this sound like something you'd like? Well then you've come to the right spot, folks! Step right up.


Once upon a time, there lived a not-so-happy-or-functional couple, Jackie and David. [names have not been changed to protect them, as I have not actually met these two in person...only glimpses of their life in which I strain my neck to hear through the walls].

Although tonight was not my first time with Jackie and David, this will be the beginning of there story. Their love/hate/everything in between story. Tonight started out with the bed squeaking. I always get excited when I can hear that old (I'd imagine) bed start rockin'...but tonight it was just Jackie getting in bed while telling dear old David that she "doesn't love him" and that he's a "nasty old pig" (which, I'd agree with). 


David won't let up; he usually digs himself a deeper hole in which Jackie uses to her advantage. She tells him he can't sleep in the bed with her. Then he gets mad. She moves to the guest room; the talking gets muffled. We stop listening. Bed squeaks again; we're back into position in order to get the best sound quality. Repeat five times. 


Now, usually it ends in make-up sex...my favorite! Not tonight...not yet anyway. 


This is the story of David and Jackie, my wall-mates. Every night is a new adventure and I'll be here to update ya'll on the situation. Whether you like it or not...


Until next time. TTFN. 

time out! jk about the last post...

After reading my previous post, Jordan felt bad and decided that we should get in the "Christmas spirit"....actually, after I started crying for no apparent reason and had a meltdown, she was very thoughtful and we went and bought lots of Christmas stuff and decorated the entire apartment. 


Below are some photos of the stuff we made:

So now I'm in the Christmas spirit and ready for a fun holiday! I love you, Jordan! :) 


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone!

Christmas already?!

Ummmmmm, wow! Christmas already? Well, I guess imma grinch this year but I'm not feelin' it at all! I haven't gotten or made any gifts; I don't have a Christmas tree; nothin! This will also be the first year in...forever that I won't get to see Joey open his presents. I'm glad to be able to spend my first Christmas with Jordan here in Vegas, it'll be fun. :)


So, now I'm going to Christmas pep myself up; merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Facebook: changing the world one wasted second at a time...

Facebook. It's everywhere. People in every generation and county are connected with an online networking site we call Facebook.

I'll be the first to admit that I've been shamelessly addicted to Facebooking...or "Fbooking". I actually have no idea why I love Facebook so much. I think it's mostly out of habit that I continually check it; I don't really give a shit what anyone ate for lunch or where they are vacationing...and if I did care, I'd call and ask them.

I've been Facebook free for about a week now and it hasn't bothered me in the slightest. I mean, sure, I miss having something to do while I wait for Jordan to shower and primp all day but I have started reading in my spare time and I love it much more. I think I've been slightly more productive and most certainly have less drama in my life because of my switch to the Amish lifestyle...I mean, the no Facebook lifestyle!

I dare you to quit Fbooking for a week. You'll like it.

goodbye 2010, hello 2011

I'm looking forward to welcoming the new year with hopes that it'll be the best year ever! Here's to new beginnings and a refreshed focus on what's important to me.

Well, 2010, you treated me well...now lets see what 2011 will bring me!

*gag* it's finally here...

My quarter-life crisis is 3 days away. WTH?!

I am gonna be 25 freaking years old. OMG, I might die. On second thought, maybe not...

This year I wanna:

• run the Rock n' Roll 1/2 marathon 
• pass ALL of my classes...even circuit weights (yep, i've failed that one 5 times)
• wake up one morning, go to the airport (not the CC airport), and fly somewhere random and stay for a few days...and maybe never come back to Utah.
• go a whole week without being a bitch, in any way, shape, or form. think that's impossible? probably, but i'm gonna try. 
• i have lots more...but ya'll don't care/need to know them..so stick it. 

meet my (new) sister!

I got a new baby sister, Sofia! She's not actually a baby, but whatever.

Welcome to the family, kid. :]

*sometimes i wish life were this easy. i need a sign...please and thank you.
love, jill

i'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm BAaaaaaaaaaaack!

Okay, that was dramatic but I'm excited to be back in the blogging world. I have missed blogging because then I don't remember half of the crazy stuff I do!

The blog needs some work...it looks a little trashy and worn out. Maybe this weekend I'll fix her up a bit so that ya'll will wanna read this dorky little blog again. Is anyone still out there?!

Love,
Jill

goll damn, i could use a coke

It's 4:10pm and I haven't showered. Nope, not sick. Just lazy.

I was gonna run to the Mav and grab a coke, and then I looked in the mirror and decided I should never leave the house looking like this. I hate my life sometimes. 

Oh, and of course I get to have my booking picture taken this week. Glad I have 20 million zits on my face. You're welcome, Cedar City. Enjoy!

Southern Utah Road Trip 2010

Today Britt and I decided to take a trip to Red Cliffs, which turned into St. George, which turned to Enterprise, Beryl, and New Castle.

What a lovely way to spend a beautiful day.



















Red Cliffs

health care, smhealth care...

What's all the fuss about? Honestly. 

The current heath care system is not perfect or even semi-perfect. Lets try something new. I don't care if you agree or not, it's happening and fighting it won't help. Although the new plan may not be perfect (is there ever a perfect plan?), it's a step in the right direction.

I won't lie, I am not an expert on the matter and I won't pretend that I am. I haven't read the bill in its entirety, but have those of you who are opposed to it read it either?

Change isn't bad. 

the 2010 airborne crisis

Once upon a time there was a girl named Jill, that's me.

She woke up like this:

After a trip to the store and buying some:

Jill put the tablet in a cup:

After waiting a few minutes, Jill drank the water/Airborne mixture. Uh-oh...it wasn't dissolved all the way.

Jill starting choking:

Since she's dramatic she ran downstairs, unable to breathe, and woke up her sister Anne:

Anne didn't know what to do, so after a few seconds the tablet dislodged itself. Jill and Anne laughed.

Anne went back to bed. Jill felt awesome and went to school.

when i grow up...

When I was little I thought I wanted to teach elementary school. I love kids and I really liked school, so why not? Plus everyone and their dog in my family (not everyone, but lots) was or is involved in the education system.  Education just seemed like a natural route for me to take as I grew older. After taking Education 2000 at SUU I decided I would rather slit my own wrists and rip my teeth out with a fork than teach school. That left me with just one problem. What will I do instead?

Good question.

Here are some of my ideas on the matter:
Tubing Guide:
I would just tell people all the safety precautions and let them float on down the river. I love tubing, so I'd never get bored...at least not for a few years.                                

Since it's inevitable that I'll get bored with my tubing guide job, I would then like to be a:

 Bookstore Owner:

I would love own a bookstore because I could read all day long and I'm sure I'd meet some rad people along the way, also. This women really looks like she's livin' the dream. I want this job. I will do this.      

After my bookstore takes off and I have enough money to hire a few employee's, I'll be free to be a:

Basketball Coach:

I don't care if I'm coaching high school, Jr. Jazz, or a small community college team, I just wanna coach. I think it'd be so much fun. Plus, I'd be a kick-ass coach. I'd get some travel in with the team and I'd get to watch/play basketball and make money. Cool.

In the meantime, I'd still have to check on my bookstore every now and then so I'd stay busy even in the off-season. After I got the hang of things and settled into being so busy, I'd add in being a:

Cafe/Coffee Shop Owner:

I'd be smart about it though and it would be part of my bookstore. I've always wanted to own a small diner or cafe and what could be more perfect than a bookstore cafe? I think nothing. Grilled cheese would be the specialty. 

The transition from this move won't take long, so I'll add in this next one soon afterwards. I will be a:

Co-Bar-Owner: (my partners know who they are)

I've dedicated entire posts to my bar, "Meet Me Upstairs" so I find it unnecessary to re-blog about it. Just know it's gonna be a freaking awesome place to hang out. 

 

I figure after accomplishing all of these jobs, someone will indefinitely want me to be their: 

Inspirational Speaking Assistant:

Note the "assistant". I don't want to do the speaking or the inspiring. I just want to travel and go to fancy places and look cool while someone else takes the job of speaking and inspiring others. How cool would it be  to basically do nothing and get paid for it. I mean, sure, I'll get coffee and dinner for the speaker and then go explore new cities. Don't try and steal my idea...there are only so many inspirational speakers to go around and I need one of them to hire me!

After I've done all these things, I'll probably write a book and everyone will love me. I'll be famous.

something i could work on...

"Intelligent people talk about ideas, mediocre people talk about events, dumb people talk about people"

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the carefree, fun times.

Then I remember times like this:

Being a kid was fun; I 'd go back any day, for one day. I just never, ever, ever wanna go back to middle school or high school. I was (and I guess still am) painfully awkward. Ah, the joys of being an awkward pre-pubescent middle school girl.

*Oh, and by the way, middle school really wasn't that "painful" for me. I just like being dramatic about my life. :]

woah, hold your horses...addicted to you?

I just received an e-mail with the subject line: "how to get him 'addicted' to you".

Did I read it? No. Can I imagine what it said? Yes.

1. Have boobs, get fake ones, or stuff your bra. 

 2.  Flirt. A lot. Be as cheesy as human possible.

3. Cook. Men (people) love food. Dessert is where you can really score bonus points.

4. Clean. The. Shit. Outta. Everything. All. The. Time.

5. Never look like you're been cleaning, cooking, or anything else that would be seen as "dirty". Always, always, always look like a super-model. Sweats are a no-no.

6. Be yourself. (hahahhahahhahaha)
And by that, I mean don't be yourself at all. Be fake. Always put on a smile, even if you want to cry. Never, ever leave the house without a 6inch coat of makeup on. Laugh at him even when he's so not funny.

 
7. Get a new dude who doesn't need to be "obsessed" or addicted with you in order to love you. Honestly, wouldn't it be a little creepy if you wanted him to be obsessed with you in the first place??

Oh, and did I mention that if you have boobs he'll love you no matter what??! Get fake ones if you don't have them already. It's the hottest new thing to do.

domestic goddess: take 1

Since boycotting fast food due to the ridiculousness of the outfits the employees are required to wear, I decided to take up cooking. Yeah right...

I did, however, decide that I should start eating out less and cooking at home more. Today was day one of this glorious adventure. I made Coconut Shrimp, stir-fry veggies, and rice. BAM!

Take that, Fast Food owners.

No. I refuse to eat your food unless.....

Earlier today I decided to eat at In & Out Burger. Yummy.

Then I noticed the ridiculous uniforms that the employees are required to wear. Why??? I mean, I can understand the point of having uniforms and sometimes they even look nice. What I do not understand is why on earth someone who is opening a business would purposefully choose for their employees to look so ridiculous.

After thinking long and hard I came up with some possible arguments:

1. The owners are ugly and want their employees to be on their level...or below.
2. They want customers to find pleasure in seeing these poor employees dressed like clowns. 
3. The owners actually think the uniforms are flattering and look decent. 

I, for one, think it's very degrading and unnecessary for employees who work at fast food chains and otherwise to wear hideous uniforms that provide nothing extra that regular clothes couldn't. 

Excuse me while I go write letters to owners of all fast food chains to complain about how they are all assholes and bitter. Included in the letter I'll request that employees have uniforms that look more like this:

fabulous friday with jill and joey

Well hey there, folks! It's Jill and Joey to the rescue today. 
Top Ten reason I love Joey this week:
1. he is buff
2. he shaved his head. sexy little guy.
3. he has non-pleated jeans now. yay. 
4. he acts like a cat. on command.
5. he a self-proclaimed "electronics man". his collection includes: 3 ipods, a cell phone, and multiple chargers...which he has pics of on his phone. 

6. he brags about being spoiled.
7. he watches the biggest loser while eating ice cream. 
8. he can sing/dance like no one else i know.
9. his smile makes my day better.
10. he's the best bro in the world. duh.

We decided to take a million pics with Enna's (our sis) camera. Sucka!

Here we are:

Hope your weekend is stellar! 


P.S. hope your spring break ROCKS! we'll be partying like rock stars for sure! pics sure to come.

i'm having a quarter-effing-life crisis...help!

For those who don't know me, I'll soon be 25 years old. In fact, I'll be a quarter of a century old in exactly 177 short days. EEK! 

Okay, okay...for ya'll who are already to the big 2-5 mark and beyond, chillax. I don't think you're old if you're over 25. I'm just a freakin' out a little bit because I always thought that by 25 I'd have a completely different life than I do right now. Ever since I was little I always thought that by 25 I'd "have it all" : sexy husband, white picket fenced in house, little dog in the backyard, 8 (effing) kids, and the president of the young women's. 

Honestly, I've never had, and will never have any of those things...at least not in the way I had planned for so many years. And I'm perfectly okay with it. Sure, sometimes I wonder how much different or "easy" might life could be if I did choose my childhood path and it almost seems worth it. Then I snap back to reality and I remember that I'd end up in a mental institution if this : sexy husband, white picket fenced in house, little dog in the backyard, 8 kids, and the president of the young women's, was my life. 

I don't want a husband. I could settle for a studio apartment in a larger city. A dog, sure, why not? 8 kids, dream on. Church? No thanks.

Yes, I'm freaking out that I'm turning 25 because I have absolutely no idea where my life is going and where I'll end up next...but I guess that's also what I love about my life so much. I have nothing tying me down or holding me in one spot. I am free to blow with the wind; I hope I never get tied down. 

Naturally, I don't want to end up alone and I don't intend to do so. I just don't want the same things I always thought I'd want. Sometimes it's confusing to try and break out of the mold that was made for me and what I wanted for so long; sometimes I don't know if I'm making the right choices.

Confused as I may be, I do know one thing, I know that no matter what I do I'll always have my family and friends and what more could a girl ask for? So to all of you who get to deal with my "quarter-life crisis" freak out sessions, just know that I love you. And until I'm done freaking out and deciding what to do next, sorry I'm a little bitch. xoxo

So here's to making the big 2-5 the best it can be! I can't wait to see what life hands me next! Bring it on! (and trust me, I know I have a while until my birthday)...but just in case you want gift ideas, here ya go:

• books. i love books. 
• music is nice.
• money. 
• a lover? maybe...
• scrabble shit. <3
• notes/cards/letters
• candy

my irish pub obsession

If you haven't noticed by now, I have an obsession with Irish pubs. I don't know why because I'm not Irish, I don't drink beer, and I have never been to Ireland. Even still though, I love pubs. There is something about them that automatically makes me feel happy and at home.

I love walking into a dim pub. The smells, the sounds, the people: I love it all.


I LOVE IRISH PUBS! Maybe I'll open one in Cedar City....right....

lovin' you makes me wanna spill my heart and soul

• I saw Alice in Wonderland yesterday. Meh, didn't love it...
• I got to see Tegan and Sara at the House of Blues in Vegas on Tuesday. Heavenly. And I remember it this time (unlike the first time I got to see them play). 
• Joey shaved his head. What a goofball. Love it.
• Happy Birthday to my other bro, Buddy. He's 23 today. Weird...
• School is royally kicking my ass. Still.
• I get to see some friends I haven't seen in weeks tonight. Yay.
• I'm in love with Tegan and Sara. Both of them. They are awesome. 
• I ate at an Irish Pub in Las Vegas. I <3 Irish Pubs more than I love most things in life. Creepy? Maybe...
• April just brought me lunch at work. Presh. 
• I'mma go stuff my face with Brad's now. Goodbye. 

oh and p.s. I quit the HCG diet for now. hahaha

some things i love and should start doing more...

• thrift shop fixer-upping: buying junk and making it cute/fun. 
• scrabble: real and speed
• reading: for fun; not just text books and assigned readings.
• running: i'm fat and i should run anyway, plus i love it.
• listening to my records: i love them but i never turn them on. lazy much? 
• eating sunflower seeds: maybe it's just because it's winter and stuff, but i miss seeds.
• writing letters: i have a few very overdue letters i need to write to various friends. i should do that.
• riding bikes: i'm pretty sure i love riding. again, it's winter and i'm lazy. 
• writing in my real journal: i love blogging because it's easier than writing in a journal, but i love looking back at my old journals...
• playing my uke: i suck and i'm fine with it; i just like it. 

some sunday stuff

Some lyrics I love: (thanks to baby girl Jenny Lewis for this song)
It’s not as if New York City burnt down to the ground
Once you drove away
It’s not as if the sun won’t shine
When clouds up above
Wash the blues away

Are we breakin' up?
(Breakin up)
Are we breakin' up?
(Breakin' up)
Is there trouble between you and I?
Did my heart break enough?
(Break enough)
Did it Break enough this time
(Break enough)

Here’s to all the pretty words we will never speak
Here’s to all the pretty girls you're gonna meet

Am I breakin up?
(Breakin up)
Am I Breakin up
Is there trouble on the line?
Did your heart break enough?
(Break enough)
Did it Break enough this time
(Break enough)

Ooooh, it feels good to be free
Oooh it feels good to be free
Oooh it feels good to be free

Betrayal is a thorny crown
You wear it well
Just like a king
Revenge is the saddest thing
Honey, I’m afraid to say
You deserve everything

Am I breakin up?
(Breakin up)
Are we breakin up?
Is there trouble between the lines?
Did your heart break enough?
(Break enough)
Did it break enough?
(Break enough)
Break enough this time?

Ooooh, it feels good to be free
Oooh it feels good to be free
Oooh it feels good to be free

____________________________________________________________________

On a different note, I think I'm gonna move to sunny St. George for the summer. I mean nothing is set in stone and I don't have a job or a place to live down there, but I would like to do it. I need a change of pace and some new faces; St. George is close enough to come home if needed and far enough away that I can meet some new friends.

____________________________________________________________________

On another completely unrelated note, my sister is back and I am lovin' it! :)

Hope you have a great Sunday! Lets hope for sunny weather and summer coming soon! Can you believe it's gonna be March tomorrow?! eek!

social theory can kiss my ass....

Okay, not really. I'll write my paper in a few minutes, but first I just want to tell you how much I love homework.

Lets back up for a minute. I suck at school. I hate waking up to go to class, I hate unnecessary homework, and I hate boring lectures. I love learning and I'm pretty sure I'm at least semi-smart; I just prefer to do it on my own. I know, I know...I should do online school, blah blah blah. No. I will finish my undergraduate degree at SUU if it kills me and thus I am up at 1:15 am blogging about how much I love school instead of writing a paper on guy that I can't pronounce his name.

I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school. I love school.

Enna Bear

If you don't know my sister, you're missing out...so I'll just tell you about her. Anne is one of the very best people on earth, hands down. I think I totally lucked out in the sibling department because I got Anne and Joey and I'm pretty sure they're both perfect. Buddy is pretty rad, too.

Anyway, Enna has been serving a mission for the LDS church since October in the Naga mission. She has loved every second of it, including the rats in her shower bucket, the fact that she has a bucket "shower", spiders bigger than her head, and an array of what I would consider awful food. Anne is amazing and has an outlook on life that is unlike anyone else I know.

Since arriving in the Philippines Anne has had some health problems that have been persistent. Being the little go-getter that she is just let them slide by and hoped that they would eventually go away. Three months have gone by and she is in a great deal of pain and the doctors cannot find anything. My guess is because the "hospital" is more like a grass hut...go figure. We were able to Skype with her this morning and she is still very positive, although her mission president said it's hard for her to get out of bed.

Enna will be flying home and hopefully arriving on Tuesday night to the Salt Lake City airport. As much as I am dying to see her, my heart is breaking for her. I don't think she's ever been as happy as she is right now in her entire life. She loves the Philippines, the people, and everything she has been doing. It's hard for me to watch her have to leave something that she loves because of something out of her control; I wish there was something that I could do for her. Even though this will be a huge challenge for Anne I know that she will take whatever comes her way with a positive outlook.

Joey and I have never been more excited in our lives to do the Decker Butt Dance with our sister. We just hope she gets well soon so that she can return to normal and go back on her mission. For now, we'll enjoy every second we get to spend with her! We love you Enna Bear!

“ no matter how upside down it all may temporarily appear, we will have no fear because we know this secret: life is crazily in love with us—wildly and innocently in love with us. the universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it. ”rob brezny