um, so this one time...

  • i'm pretty sure hacking up green snot and not being able to breathe in without my lungs collapsing is a bad sign. Guess we'll see what the doc says in the morning....
  • i have taken more sleeping pills and nyquil than is recommended for a 7 day period since 9am this morning; i'm still awake. thank you to my wonderful body that has such high resistence to drugs and alcohol. what would i do without you?
  • i can't fall asleep and i'm going to rip my hair out.
  • i hope i start my period soon because, lets just say i've been a bitch face for a few days. or a few weeks. shit. 
  • i need to clean my room and bathroom like it ain't no thang. am i planning to do so anytime soon? no. does this irritate the hell out of me? yes, indeed. 
  • school is kicking my ass. it's awesome....in a not so awesome way.
  • tomorrow is friday. yay.
  • 3 basketball games on saturday = i hope i can stop coughing my lungs up by then. it's really not so great to watch basketball if all i do is hack my lungs up. 
  • i'm gonna shut up now. goodnight


I guess I'll come out of my coma

uhhhgg. Someone please bang my head on the concrete or run me over. I'm so sick of school; I can't handle it anymore. It seriously pisses me off to go on Tuesdays because I have class from 10am-5pm and I hate all of the classes, but especially the last one which goes from 2:30-5pm. What a waste of time and energy!

In good news, my Jr Jazzie's are doing well. Practice on Monday was fun and we learned lots; hopefully tonight will be good as well.

I'm  not gonna lie, I went into hibernation mode last night at 6pm and now it's 8:15am and I just woke up. I took sleeping pills and nyquil to knock myself out; it worked wonders. Now I feel ready to take on the day!


bingo, basketball, and black (dresses)

(Imagine me batting my eyelashes, with music playing in the background and pink sparkles everywhere... and then continue reading with that image in your head the whole time.)
Today was a long day. And for the love of all that's good and holy, I have no idea why I am still awake. But here I am. 

It all started Saturday at 1AM when my BFF and I got a brilliant idea to go sledding. Since we're probably the laziest people on earth (not really, but close), we decide to tie the sled to a rope which was attached to my car inside the trunk. We cruised each other around for an hour or so... Can we say HECKA fun?! By the way, it was a blizzard and I hate snow (if you didn't already catch that drift).

As I was driving home I got a picture message from Annie B. of her and her *choke* fiance (unofficially). Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for Annie it's unreal, it just makes me miss her more. Anyway, she called me and we chatted about how I need to find a black dress by April 10th. I can't remember the last time I owned or wore a dress. This should be quite the adventure. I'm kind of excited about it at this point in the day. Earlier today I was having a mild anxiety attack about the whole ordeal, but it's growing on me. Hell, maybe I'll even like wearing the dress. Okay, lets not get too crazy..that'll never happen.

After I hung up the phone with Annie it was well after I should have been sleeping. I finally snuggled into my bed at around 4:30AM. Barf.

My phone started blaring "I Kissed a Girl" much too early to my liking and at 7:30AM I rolled my not-so-happy-ass outta bed and into the shower. Team pictures for my Jr Jazzies took place today and I had to be in the photo. Barf. Oh well. The best part of this section of my really lame but at the same time awesome day is that my 7th/8th graders won their game!!! YAY! 

After the game I called my grandma to see how she was holding up; she seemed bored, so I went out to visit her. We went and played BINGO with the other residents and it made me realize how much I really do not want to get old. I guess I could always look forward to winning 25 cents a game at BINGO...now that's really somethin!

After a rousing game of BINGO and a nice chat with the G-rents I headed to the SUU women's bball game with my cousin. Not only did the girls win in double overtime, we scored some sweet SUU t-shirts. I love free t-shirts!

Then to top off my oh-so-freaking-cool-day I got the honors of closing the Depot from 7pm-11pm. And lets be real, I saw 6 people the entire time I was there and we made a whopping $300.00...my oh my, life is grand. And I lied...I didn't get to the Depot until 7:20pm because the damn girls kept going into overtime.

Now it's 1:05AM and I'm still awake. I'm tired as hell. I work 13 hours tomorrow and I have homework coming out every pore in my body. I need a vaca ASAP.

(Imagine the sparkles getting more intense and the music fading as my eyelashes disappear from the screen...)


i'm the smartest person on earth

Literally. I swear I'm so smart it hurts sometimes...and then days like yesterday happen.

I woke up early, showered, got ready, and was actually out the door by 8:40am. If you know me, you know that's a major feat. Usually being 20 minutes late to class is good for me. I planned to leave early because of the freaking 20 feet of snow we got the night before so that I could thaw my car, scrape the windows and find a decent parking space at school.

Anyway, so at 8:40 am I rushed out my door, forgot my backpack, ran back inside and grabbed it and started my car. Since it was a million degrees below zero, I decided to let my car do the work on getting the ice off my windshield so I wouldn't have to scrape it. I revved up my engine (about 20 times), sprayed it with ice melting stuff and waiting about five minutes. Then I tried to leave. Uh, why isn't my car moving?? I mean, I know I drive a tiny little car that isn't bigger than a 4-wheeler...but really?? It didn't budge. I tried again. And again...and again! For about ten minutes I sat there trying to get my car to move and it was just not working. Blah. I woke up early for this?! LAME!

So I called my dad (he saves me a lot). He said he'd come get me. In the meantime, I was STILL revving up my engine trying to get somewhere. I noticed my neighbor walking up to help me, so I rolled down my window and she told me to try reversing. Still nothing. WTF is wrong with my stupid car?!

And then I noticed the emergency brake was still on...oops.

I took it off and reversed (just to appease the neighbor) and sped away.

Moral of the story:
Sometimes on days like this it reminds me that I'm really not that smart and maybe I should be less of a bitch.Oh, and that I EFFING hate snow more than anything on earth...or at least pretty close to that.

Yes mom and dad, I still made it to class only one minute late. Be proud. xoxo


"why aren't you married?"...

It seems I get the infamous "why aren't you married" line quite often these days. So here's to all you curious folk and the answers to why I am not married. First of all, let me make it perfectly clear that I am super happy for all of my married friends who have found happiness in doing so.

Now, lets get down and dirty.

People seem to equate love and marriage with beauty: "You're so pretty...how come you aren't married?" or "Wow, for such a beautiful girl it seems like it'd be easier to find a husband".  Thanks for the compliments folks, but really? I think I'll start saying, "Wow, for such a plain person you sure found a looker to marry you!" or "Holy shit, I can't believe someone actually wanted to marry you with your snaggle tooth and pimple face. Congrats!".

The next thing people bring into my whole "marriage dilemma" is that I'm too liberal. Someone actually told me that if I would "just stop thinking so damn much maybe boys wouldn't feel so intimidated by me and would want to ask me on a date"...Um, really? No, thanks! Maybe it is just a phase (me being liberal), but I like it and I'm not going to change that so I can find a husband.

"If you were active in the church you'd be married by now for sure!"...huh? No I wouldn't. God has nothing to do with marriage. Sure, I might be in a singles ward filled with lots of potential mates but I'd also want to rip my hair or slice myself with a dull blade. So for now it's probably best if I don't do that.

I'm 24 years old people. I still have a long time to "find my eternal companion". I want to see the world, live in a trailer in Death Valley, make new friends, dye my hair pink (again), get a tattoo, live in Hawaii, and cure world hunger before I get married. Trust me, I'm not bored...I'm pretty sure that if you're worried about me finding a husband it's you who are bored. Get a hobby and leave me alone. Thanks and have a great day!

I'll be just fine, you'll see.


sometimes I am a bitch and I can't stop.

I would apologize for my last few posts since I've been pretty bitchy, but I'm not gonna lie I am just being honest. I guess I could just say that even if you fall under any of the past couple of posts (fbook on your big wedding day, can't spell, etc.), I probably still like you even if I pretend that I wouldn't.

And lets clear up something else: I'm really nice sometimes. I care about people and I love being with friends. Just have some common sense and we'll be okay.

5 Things I'm grateful for:
1. A healthy body that allows me to do so many things.
2. Friends and family who love me no matter what I do or think.
3. Sleep. I just love it. No reason.
4. School. I sure complain about it a lot for liking it so much. I should just suck it up and shut up about it.
5. A job. It's not glamorous but it's a job and those are hard to come by in Utah right now.


oh, and one more thing...

Lets get one more thing under control while we're at it..."lose" and "loose" mean completely different things and it's a little embarrassing when you mix them up.


Not tight=loose

Can you think of any more annoying spelling errors I should be ranting about?

*And yes, I'm being serious when I say that these spelling errors might possibly be the most annoying thing on earth in my book. 

lets just get something straight

 Getting “their”, “they’re”, and "there";  “you’re” and “your”; "to", "too", and "two" mixed up might possibly be the sickest thing on earth. Literally. 

If you don't know how to use these words correctly, don't use them. You look stupid and it annoys the hell out of me. 

I'm pretty sure we learned the meanings and proper uses of these words by the time we were in second grade. Need a refresher?  Check out these worksheets; if you have questions, do ask.


weddings, facebook, and me being a bitch.

Sue me. I'm a bitch; I can admit it.

 Ready...set...CHANGE YOUR STATUS TO MARRIED (30 seconds after gettin' hitched, preferably)!

Okay, so here we go. It really bothers me, dear friends, when you get married (yay! for you and that you found your "eternal companion") and then spend the whole day of  and the week following your wedding on freaking FACEBOOK. We don't care what waterfall you saw today, go have sex or something. Don't update your status every 12 minutes letting us know you married the best dude in the world. I mean, I hope you're happy and all but lets just enjoy your time with your spouse and leave your computer out of it.

Below we see this romantic little devil updating his status during the wedding ceremony. Nothing says true love like letting all the other women on Fbook know he's taken now. Way to be on top of things dude!

While I do admit that I update my status like a mad-woman and I like it. A lot. I am not getting married, nor will I be getting married in the near future, if ever. I am not updating my status on the day that I give it up to someone for the first time, making eternal commitments to God and another human, or traveling the world on a romantic honeymoon. I'm just chillin' in Cedar, probably at work or school. You, my dear newly wed, should be doing something else rather than updating your effing status for the world to see.

Have a good day.

Warm regards,                                              


morphine and stuff

Today my grandma fell and broke her hip. She's in surgery as I type this post. Luckily she's all cracked out on pain pills and I think she'll be fine.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about how much I do not want to get old; today only helped reconfirm my desire to die young. I think I'll drive my car off a cliff the day I begin to feel "old". Sounds good to me!


some sunday madness for ya'll (and by ya'll i really mean ME)

If only you could see you through my eyes, then maybe you'd understand.
Maybe then you'd see you how I see you.
Until then, I'll just keep reminding you.


this is how we do it..

I totally forgot about my old blog until today and boy am I glad I kept it around in the archives. It's funny how similar I was two years ago without knowing or being okay with a lot of the things that consume my life currently. Although I wouldn't go as far as to say that I'm "on track", I know what I want and I know what I need to do in order to obtain it. Two years ago I was lost on multiple levels and it all makes sense. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

I'm just glad I didn't go along with the crowd on the things I was so confused over two years ago; while I will probably always struggle on some level with certain things, who doesn't? Had I gone along with what was "best for me" at that time and before that, I'd probably be married with two kids and one the way. Although that's great for some people, I would end up in a mental institution if I tried to be that person.

Maybe I'll end up in a mental institution regardless of what I choose to do with my life...but at least I won't be jacking up my kids by doing so.


oops, i already forgot my new years resolutions

No joke. I know I blogged them so I could always look them up, but really what's the point of making them if I can't remember them two weeks later. OOPS! Maybe I'll have to print them and tape them all over my bedroom walls...yes, I think I will.

I'm tired of coughing my lungs up. That should stop soon. Please and thank you. Lung god, if you're out there...please make this stop ASAP!

I <3 Obama. I have a t-shirt that says just that stapled to my wall...since 2008. Go big or go home.

I need water but I'm too lazy to get my happy ass out of bed to get some, so instead I'll just whine about being thirty on my blog.

SUU women's basketball team won their game on Monday by 1 point. It was a thriller for sure. Love it!

I have watched five basketball games thus far this week. And I plan to watch at least three more that I know about. This is a good thing in my life.

I cut Mya and Leila's hair. Surprisingly it looks pretty good! I wasn't too nervous with Mya because her hair is fine and easy to manage, but with Leila's hair being almost exactly like my crazy wanna-be black girl fro I got a little tense. The girls both liked the end results and so did their mom, so I guess it's all good!

I am not a fan of my research group. The end.

I got to see Britt this week and plan to see her again this weekend. Yay for friends.

The dentist said my teeth are perfect. No probs there. Woot!

I made a path to my bed so that I won't have to trip over all the shit on my floor. And by shit, I really mean junk...and by junk, I mostly mean clothes. I need to start being less of a slob or something. Until then, at least I can safely make it to my bed.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to cure my lungs of this evil disease...and maybe to see if he'll give me some crazy pills, too. Then I won't have to be so ADDish in school. We'll see how that goes. I'm crossing my fingers.

It's 2010 and I graduated high school in 2004, shouldn't I be effing done with college by now? Seriously, I could practically be a doctor by this time. FML! But really, I wouldn't trade my 25 year college plan for anything! It's been a long, very productive and life-changing journey thus far. Thanks M & D for letting me live in your basement all this time (with a few minor pauses).

Speaking of that, I'll be 25 this year. Creepy. I wanna be 15, not 25. So much to do, so little time...cause if you think about it, my life is more than 1/4 over even if I live to be crazy old...which I have NO intention of doing.

I have the best brother on earth. Joey is the best thing in my life every day and some days he is the only good thing. I love his guts.

I miss Enna; I'm super glad we get to g-chat and fbook it up still though. Only 16 more months, baby! xoxo

Don't be fake. It's annoying and everyone can see past your stupid masks.  The end. 

I want to move. I've never been content to stay in one place or do the same thing for long. I like change, I like new faces, new things. I gotta get out of here. Pray that I'll graduate in the next 112349 years so that I can get the hell out of Utah. I want something different! But I also want to be able to come to my parents basement sometimes...so, mom and dad please don't move! Love you.

I need sleeping pills apparently. My brain does not shut off and it is driving me insane. Goodnight fools.

my life. just a boring update. prepare to be bored if you choose to read this one...

Sometimes I wish that I could be someone else, even for one day. Wouldn't it be cool/interesting/eye-opening? I can't imagine living someone else's life, thinking how they think, and acting how they act; I would love to be able to do so. It would surely make me realize that I have a pretty damn easy life and maybe it'd even make me be glad I am who I am (which lets be real, I AM glad I am who I am most of the time).

Lately I have just been in a slump. I feel tired, sick, depressed and worn out. I am glad to be in school because I know it's what I want to do, but it's already killing me and I'm in the second week. That's not a good sign. I try to keep busy with extra activities because when I get bored nothing good comes of it. I've been going to a few basketball games a week, coaching my 7th and 8th grade team, and shootin' some hoops myself and I love it.

I have the best family on the freakin' planet. Be jeal. They love me for me, even though I do some pretty dumb shit sometimes. My parents are some of the most understanding people I know and it makes my job of being me a lot easier. Although we don't agree on most things politically..or otherwise, I know they love me no matter what I choose to do; not everyone can say that. My friends are simply amazing. The friends I spend every day with to the friends I haven't seen in months-- you're all wonderful. Thanks for putting up with me.

With all of these things it seems I should be a lot happier and upbeat than I feel lately. I feel like I should be floating around on cloud 9 with all the other  happy people...but I'm not. Maybe it's the snowy weather that's making me blue, maybe it's the fact that I miss my sister more than I've ever missed anyone before, or maybe my lungs being hacked up every time I cough is the determining factor in my depressed state. Whatever the reason might be, I hope that it quickly passes me by so that I can return to my normal, okay-with-my-life-self. Til then, sorry I'm emo.



Joey Cat: my favorite boy (person, really) in the entire world

Sometimes when I wake up I find notes from Joey that go something like this:
"Dear Jill, I love you. Put more music on my ipod. Thanks. I love you so much.
love, your favorite brother Joey"

*I get at least one note a week. At least he knows he's my fav. Love that little freakin' buff guy...who can now beat me up and win at arm wrestles. Ah, shiz.

Meet Me Upstairs

Recently a few friends and I have been trying desperately to think of ways to escape the black hole in which we live. I mean, yes, we can get out pretty easily. We could go anywhere in the world, right? Right. But we want to make the cost of leaving far outweigh staying in our humble little town. We don't want to settle for less than we currently have, which is quite great...most of the time.

After much brainstorming and consideration, we have decided that we are going to move to New York City, Hawaii (anywhere), or Southern California. Why you ask? We are going to open a bar. It will be called "Meet Me Upstairs" and there will be no stairs. We like it. We like it so much that we have, quite literally, signed our names in blood that we are going to do this; trying to convince us that it's not a good idea will not work. We've past the point of rationality about this subject, trust me.

We've decided that while having a bar will be fun, entertaining, and hopefully somewhat profitable, we also want "day time"/real? jobs. During the day, Meet Me Upstairs will turn into what we haven't named yet but will be the home to our very own grilled cheese cafe. A dream come true in my world, if I do say so myself. "Meet Me Upstairs" will also house a beauty salon (we're still looking for a beautician if anyone is interested), a tattoo parlor and a t-shirt shop. We're gonna be busy, busy, busy.

Wish us luck...not that we need it since we're all pretty freaking amazing.

Oh, and the "set" time frame for this to happen is within three years. We figure we'll all get our degrees so that people can come bull shit with us all day long about intellectual things. We'll see...


2010: resloutions

What time of year you ask? The time where I make a lot of resolutions, set out to accomplish them all, and usually only stick to one or two. This year is gonna be different though; I'm gonna make goals that I can/will keep. Here are my "resolutions" for 2010, baby. They are in no particular order at this point in time, although I guess I should probably rank them since that's what goal-oriented people do. I'll get to that someday.

  • This year I want to pass all my classes (again). Not only do I want to pass them, but I'm gonna get B's or better in all of them. Yep, you read that correctly. 
  • Get/stay at least semi-organized. I don't mean I'm going to have my room/bathroom spotless, although that'd be nice. What I'm talking about is on a much more simple level. I got a wallet for myself for Christmas and it'd be cool if I actually used it so that I don't lose my debit card, license and student ID every day. Baby steps...
  • Get my damn DUI taken care of once and for all. At this point I could care less what happens. It's been 8 months and still nothing has been done, for better or for worse. Yes, I wish I didn't have it but I do so now I just want to be done with it. 
  • Be a better friend, daughter, sister, co-worker, etc... If I say I'm gonna do something, do it.
  • Live more. Sometimes I worry too much and don't let loose enough. I want to be spontaneous, while still responsible. I want to take random trips, go on adventures, and have an awesome year!
Hope everyone has a wonderful new year!! 2010, oh yeah!