just some random thoughts

Today while I was at the hospital in the waiting room with my grandpa we somehow got on the subject of death. He was talking about my uncle who passed about last November and how he was a good man and all that jazz. Then we started talking about my cousin, Kristen, who also passed about last November. We talked about funny things that we remembered about her and stuff and then he said, "well it's too bad she went to hell". I was kind of shocked, but mostly sad. I sat there unsure of what I should say. I waited a minute and then I just told my grandpa that I'm sure she didn't go to hell. He looked at me like I was crazy and I told him that the God I believe in loves everyone and that Kristen was a good person. I told him what I believed and he seemed kind of shocked. I love my grandpa and I didn't want to be rude...good thing it was him that told me that or I probably would have freaked out. I know he means well and just believes what he believes.

So now I'm wondering...does my grandpa really believe that just because someone was an alcoholic they are going to hell? And not just "someone", she is his granddaughter and he loves her. Is there some unwritten code in the LDS church that says if someone is an addict they are obviously bad people? Bad enough to be damned for all eternity? I do not believe so. Not one tiny little bit. I can't speak from an "LDS" or religious standpoint but I know that I sure as hell wouldn't want to be associated with something that would have me believe that my loved ones are "going to hell" because they didn't conform to my same beliefs.

I believe that God is loving and kind. I believe that we all fight different battles and God knows what is in our hearts. I believe that God wants the best for us. I do not believe that because someone isn't how we think they should be, that they are going to hell. Eff that.
 Maybe I'm just a young, dumb girl. All I know is that I will never believe in a God that would punish someone for something they had been fighting their entire life. No thanks.

Sorry for the rant..

Oh, and yes, I love my grandpa dearly. This is not about him. This was just in general.