Lately I've been in kind of a funk. I mean, I'm happy and I love where my life is heading; I'm surrounded by amazing people and I have a job. I have my own house and share it with the two cutest kitties on earth. But somehow, I've just been kinda blah. I work weird hours, sleep weird hours and feel like I never have enough time to sleep and be a real human. So, lately I've been choosing sleep over play or most anything else besides work.
Then I get angry because I'm not having fun. WTF, right?
Tonight when I got to work my sponsor had me read something and although I'm sure I'll still choose sleep more often than not, it opened my eyes to how I am acting and in turn, how I am feeling. Geeeeez, I love my sponsor. I'm so lucky that she is willing to work with me and show me how to be human. it's pretty cool.
On a kind of unrelated note, Vegas is this weekend. I have been stoked to go for a while now and I think it'll be good. Part of me is sad about it. I'm sad that the person I love is in Las Vegas and I don't get to be with her. I'm sad that I don't get to drink and party like "normal" people. I'm sad that I love Vegas so much and can't stay there.
I'm also super happy that I get to spend the weekend with my best friend and that she's willing to be awesome and sober with me. I am so grateful that my boss gave me the time off work so I could go have a fun weekend. I'm happy that I get to be sober and experience new things.
It's bittersweet and I'm excited for all the new adventures I get to have. My sister just posted a blog about how we get to experience painful events or things go differently than we planned so that better things can come and we're ready for them. I agree and I'm hopeful.