Oh, holy shit...

Once upon a time there was a girl named Jill. She moved to Las Vegas and moved in with her GF, Jordan. Jill didn't want to be gross, so for the first two weeks that she lived in Las Vegas. Well, as you may have guessed, after two weeks, Jill was FULL of shit. Literally.

Jordan went off to work [for the, I think, first time since I had moved in]; I went straight to the toilet. I sat, strained, pushed, almost fell off the toilet for almost an hour. Nothing. I decided that I'd go lie down and wait. I waited and about twenty minutes later--it was time.

I rushed to the bathroom and pushed one good, lonnnnng push. It hurt a bit but my stomach felt relieved to be empty. It wasn't my biggest poop, but it was comparable. I flushed.

"Oh shit", I thought. The water didn't go down, it rose up until it almost flowed out of the toilet. I looked around for a plunger but I had no such luck. Luckily the water didn't overflow; I just decided to pretend I didn't know what was going on. I would just act like I didn't know why it wouldn't flush. After a few hours, I really did forget that I had clogged the toilet...


Later that night Jordan was getting in the shower, used the bathroom and then flushed the toilet. Well, the toilet started to run over. She called frantically for Amanda to come and help her. Jordan strained her neck to turn the water off; Amanda found the plunger which was under the kitchen sick (WTF...who keeps a toilet plunger under their sink?!...no wonder I couldn't find it!!)

Well, Jordan didn't know how to plunge and neither did Amanda, so Jill to the rescue came along and plunged "Jordan's" mess; everything was taken care of and Jill saved the day.

Jordan, that was my poop clogging the toilet. Oh, yes....love. Isn't it great?! Thanks for taking my blame...and thanks for pooping at the most opportune moment possible. You may resume pooping in our bathroom now. Our toilet isn't defective...I am! :)

1 comment:

  1. truth comes out now, huh?! while we're on that subject, I think it's only fair to disclose the fact that I really WAS awake when you farted yourself good morning the other day.. and the other week. oh yeah..
    nastay gurrllll ;)