if you want me to poke my eyes out...

• Make me go to church. Any amount church of any church sends me into ADD mode times 1000. I'm not sure why this happens, it's probably all in my mind but regardless of why, it happens. Example: I went to midnight mass (no, I'm not Catholic) on Christmas Eve with some friends and even though it's new and different I still get restless and want to throw myself in front of a bus. Call me dramatic but this really happens. 
• Make me wake up before 8am without purpose or cause. I like sleeping in and unless there is a valid reason (work or school) to wake up before then makes me wanna gouge my eyes out with a spoon. There is no reason for anyone to be up before the sun without a motive, so don't even think about making me. 
• Give me a boring lecture. I can't count the number of times I go to class having read the material that was assigned only to find that the professor is going to re-read the same information to me by way of power point slides. I literally have to force myself to stay seated and remain silent, while inside of me I am fuming and restless. I can read...I'm in college. Don't read shit to me that I have already read. Thanks.
• Put on a movie with no meaning or message. I cannot handle sitting through a movie with no purpose. Now, don't get me wrong, I love chick flicks and it's a little embarrassing how many times I've actually seen How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days or Ten Things I Hate About You, but put on an "action/drama" film and I'm gonna stab your eyes out and then my own. I do not enjoy watching people kill each other for fun, watching stupid dudes race their lame cars, or movies about the world blowing up...not my thing. Don't do it. 
• Romance novels. Gag me and then poke my eyes out. Enough said.
• Tell a stupid joke more than once. In fact, tell it every time I see you. And don't make it a short joke, either. Drag it on, and on, and on....
• Speaking of dragging on and on, tell me every detail of everything you did and ate since the last time I saw you. Really? I'll ask if I wanna know. Thanks!
• Put your 2 year-old on ADD meds. I'll poke your eyes out for you. Don't do it. Your two-year-old doesn't have ADD or bipolar, you do. Don't eff their life up to make yours easier, please and thank you. 

Okay, I could go on for hours about all the things that make me wanna poke my eyes (and yours) out but I'll be done for today. Much peace and love to all. :)

*after reviewing this post i concluded that i may or may not have ADHD. thoughts?