my shit list followed by my gratitude list....go figure.

  • i miss you. a lot.
  • i am lonely.
  • i have a broken heart.
  • i'm sober so i can't numb the pain. 
  • sometimes being sober sucks.
the good news is:
  • i won't wake up feeling like i'm gonna die..even if i want to die.
  • i adopted a cat. he doesn't take away my loneliness or my ache for you, but it's worth a shot.
  • i have a rad roomie to hang out with.
  • i can cry to my counselor about you and not feel so crazy for doing so.
  • i have 4 months and 30 days sober today. wow. 
  • i have a great support group of friends that understand me.
  • i haven't been in a drunken fight today. or the past almost 5 months. 
  • i get to be responsible. 
  • i have an HP who knows what's up.

Today kinda kicked my ass. Luckily, I got to talk to someone I know cares about me and who wants the very best for me. I told myself I wasn't gonna cry; that never works. Ya know...I've cried more this year than I can ever remember. I guess that's part of all this being "in recovery" shit. I hate crying. And I hate missing you. I guess such is life.

Maybe tomorrow will be a little more upbeat.

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