Okay, lets get this straight..
Have any of you noticed that your straight friends try to hook you up with any other gay person they come in contact with? Well, I have a solution. Send them this letter. Good luck!
Dear ________ (insert any straight friend you have here),
Thank you for caring about me and wanting me to be happy. You're the bomb. For real. There are just a few things I'd like you to know:
- Just because I'm single doesn't mean that I'm miserable. I'm not.
- I'm glad you have another gay friend...good for you. I do not want you to hook me up with every gay person you come in contact with.
- I don't want to hear about your sex life. I won't tell if you don't. And even if you do, I won't.
- I'm just me. You don't need to introduce me as "your gay friend". I'm just a human.
- I do not have a crush on you. Trust me. You're my friend.
- I do not think every girl I see is hot.
- I don't want to hook up with your gay cousin while they're in town. (well maybe sometimes)
- No. I will not kiss you because you're "curious".
Thanks again for trying to be helpful; you're a peach. Now, run along, and go find a boyfriend while I listen to music and drink coffee, alone.
"your gay friend" __________ (insert your name)
P.S. I have a friend I want you to meet! He's so great and he's straight. Perfect!