Valentines Day is a day of mixed emotions for a lot of people. Is it one of happiness and love or one of despair and hopelessness? Well, for me, it's one that I just don't really care about. I mean, yeah, I've had plenty of lovers and fun times on V-Day; I guess it's not terrible. I, for one, am a big supporter of showing your significant other that you love them. I just don't see the point of dedicating a day to buy them shit to prove that love. Here is a (small) list of my reasoning behind my take on the ol' V-Day:
- I am the least romantic person I've ever met. Literally.
- Roses don't make me think you love me.
- Sick love notes on Hallmark cards with little to no thought put into them make me wanna barf.
- A day dedicated to people who are "in love" so that they can express their love seems a little pathetic. I mean, can't you just be in love all the time and not have to have a specific day set aside to be mushy?
- I don't have any plans; it's on a Sunday so there will be nothing going on in the thriving metropolis of Cedar City.
- I don't think pink and red, alone, go well together. Make it a rainbow and it's much prettier, but plain pink and red are gaggy. I don't like it.
- Doileys (if that's how to spell it) are disgusting and it seems people like them around V-Day. Why?!
- Wearing underwear that say "I Love You" is one thing, but wearing full-on sex outfits with lips, hearts, and "kisses" on them is really weird. Just have sex, don't be a clown or something.
- Chocolate is fine and I'll take it if you wanna give it to me, but my fat ass really doesn't need it. Thanks!
- Love "coupons" make me wanna gag myselft with a fork nine times. I mean, honestly, I don't think that even my dirty mind could top what some of those "coupons" offer. It's one thing to do certain things spontaneously but it's a whole new level when you offer your "services" by way of coupons. Unless it says "make your bed for a week", "wash the dishes", or "clean the bathroom for a month" I don't want your damn coupons.
- People waste a lot of money on not very delicious food. Pizza and a movie would be much better than some gross "fancy" dinner. If you could get on that right now, I'd really appreciate it.
- I'd rather watch basketball in my bed alone than be on an awkward date with some dude I don't really like.
*this list is in no way meant offensively to those of you loving people who are in relationships and sometimes do really nasty things for love. i still love you and hope the very best for you and your significant other. just keep your hands to yourself when you're around me and we're good to go. i promise to do the same around you, cause trust me, you don't wanna see me gettin' it on.