I guess mostly what I am learning is that life happens. People get sick, sleep doesn't have an on and an off switch, cats shit in a box and can't clean it out themselves, dishes don't do themselves, homework can be tedious and quite time consuming, and people are self-centered.
I am self-centered. The world definitely revolved around me and if it doesn't, I get upset. Isn't that like 2-year-old mentality? I think so. And yet, I still find myself getting upset over petty things that don't go my way.
I am usually too tired to hang out with friends, I never make it to family dinner at my parents house, my house is rarely spotless (if ever), I am horrible at math, I never call my sponsor or do step work, I haven't been to AA in weeks and I suck at math. And yet, I still have all these wonderful people who care about and love me.
This week, I'm going to try to "go with the flow" and just enjoy the moment. I get so caught up in trying to make everything go how I want it to go and then it never does...and even if what actually happened turns out to be great, I'm too busy being upset that it wasn't how I planned it.
Someone wise (who I won't name) would tell me to make a gratitude list, so I will:
- I'm grateful that I have litter boxes. My house would be even more of a nightmare without them...plus, that means I have kitties.
- I'm grateful I got to sleep yesterday...even if it wasn't at my planned time or amount.
- I'm grateful that I get to go watch basketball later today with my bestie and my GF.
- I'm grateful that even though it's cold as %#%# outside right now, it's warm inside the truck stop.
- I'm grateful that Sof is here for a few days- even if I am a bitch. ha
- I'm grateful for schoolwork- I can't remember what I did all night at work before I was in school. Man, it sure makes the nights fly by.
- I'm grateful for my school schedule next semester! I'm taking classes that I think I'll really enjoy- except math.
- I'm grateful for technology. Even though I think it's a little overboard sometimes- I'm glad I can text my sis and Sof (who don't live here) anytime. That's neat.
Okay, I'm still not feelin' it but maybe tomorrow will be better. Meow