just because

Jill and Joey- Cabin 2011

Today I got to spend time with Joey at the cabin; we took pictures to prove it. I love that kid.

it's like having 10 cans of tuna and no can opener...

Don't you hate it when you really want something (tuna) and you have a can of it...but you don't have a can opener? 

I'd pay an obscene amount for a can opener right now...

coupons from Joey

Today my family had a little "we're glad you're sober" party. we ate some delicious food and Joey made me a card and included some coupons for me in it. Cool, right? Here's the best part....the coupons are things I can do for him.  They range from taking care of him when he's sick to making him dinner. And ya know, I guess the kid has got it right...I do owe him a shit load of love and I'll "redeem" his coupons any day! I missed a lot of birthdays, special occasions, his prom king experience, dates, and everyday memories with Joey over the last few years. He's always been the one that I could cry to and he would just listen and hug me. Gosh, I love that kid.

Joey and Sof at Prom! Prom King 2011--woot!

I'm pretty lucky to have Joey and I'm glad that I get to enjoy time with him now. Lately we've been "crafting" a lot together-- we paint and shiz...don't worry 'bout it. Thanks Joey for putting life into perspective for me...what would I do without you?!

How can you not love that smile???

90 days and counting...

Today marks the day that I've been sober for 90 days! 

Big shout out to my HP (higher power) and all the wonderful people in life. 

Thanks everyone. 

:)

right now i...

• wanna scream until i feel better.
• am grateful for all the good things in my life. 
• think that graveyard is the best shift ever invented [but only with a laptop and free wifi]
• wish that i could be with y.o.u. 
• am looking at http://rodeo.net/tattoologist [my new fav. blog]
• love pandora. greatest.invention.ever.
• am daydreaming about how i'll decorate my new pad. 
• feel like crying and laughing all at the same time.
• am eating raspberries from Corinne. what would i do without her? 

• think that i'm lucky to be alive. 
• should be filling ice bags but of course i'll save the work for the end of the shift. 
• wish i had someone to play scrabble with every night. 
• want to have control over every situation. 
• have freshly shaven legs. mmm
• would love to be on an airplane going someplace amazing. 
• am grateful that there are currently no old nasty truckers here hitting on me. 
• think i have the best friends and fam in the universe. 
• <3 pinterest.com ---addicted!
• could go for a 50 piece chicken nugget from mcdonalds...
• might be dreaming of Lagoon and especially floatin' down the lazy river in Lagoona Beach
• wish i was with my sibs cuddling and making animal noises.
• think that addiction sucks. it's a bitch. and it's taking people i love. 
• kinda like cops. at least the ones that come to the truck stop and chat. they're nice. 
• hate bugs. they are everywhere. and i mean e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
• can almost feel the sand between my toes. i think i need a beach in a bad way. 
• want another tattoo. horribly.
• kinda miss HHW...freaky.
• wish i could drink a monster. but instead i'll drink coffee with extra vanilla creamer. 
• could go for a little make out sesh or something...
• miss Lily bug. 
• wish you could read my mind and know how much i love you. but i won't tell you.
• am a little bit scared of the future; i'm gonna be afraid and do it anyway
• like making lists, i suppose. 
• could be watching netflix [thanks Jon] but instead i'm blogging and shiz
• might be taking pictures of myself at work. sick.
• am pondering important shit. 
• kinda wish a trucker would come entertain me....wait, i'm not that bored. 
• am gonna stop writing this blog. you're welcome.

a happy list

• Seeing Joey dance to MJ....perhaps the greatest thing on earth. I'll post a video sometime. It's worth viewing, trust me. 
• Fake baking. I love it. I'm still white and I'm okay with it; I just pretend I'm on a nice warm beach for the 20 minute sessions.
• The fact that I'm going apartment shopping today. Yay. Can't wait. 
• I have been sober for 80+ days...I get my 90 day chip on Friday!
• I have a job. Two, actually.
• It's raining and I love rain. I bought an umbrella today for the occasion. 
• I got to see Annie B. for like 20 minutes and I loved every second of it.
• Riding my bike to work. [coming back home is a whole different story...]
• My brothers dog, Ava. She's cute.
• Corinne and Lily for making me smile everyday. Bear & Cade, too. :]
• Jack, my iPod. <3
• Crafting with Joey.
• Drinking fresh Dew. Mmmmm
• Thinking of decorating my apartment and how I'll do it. Sooo excited.
• Peeing in a cup a couple times a week. For all the awkwardness and fond memories that I make whilst doing so...Thank you, HHW.

Life is good. Different...and great.

up for way, way, way too long...

I've been up since 6am on Wednesday. It's 6pm on Thursday now. Barf.

I started work last night. Coffee was spilled on my backpack and therefore the backpack was washed for the first time ever...and I've had it since I was a junior in high school. It look wonderful now. I might wash it more often.

I'm too tired to sleep. How does that even really work? Shouldn't I just be able to pass out if I'm so tired? I'm gonna go try to sleep- again.

I'm grateful for all the cool things in my life. Having a job is one of them. Huzzah.

itchin to...

• get another tattoo- i have a few way cute ones picked out. yay.

• get my nose pierced- again. i loved having it and i'm excited to get it back! watch out world. 

• dye my hair black- again. the blond has got to go! can't wait. 

happy birthday, Enna Bear

Happy Birthday to the best sister in the world!

 I love you, Enna. 

early bird gets the worm while the sober girl gets to enjoy life... :]

Well hello there, fellow bloggers and earthlings. Since getting out of rehab a week and a half ago I've been planning a day to sleep in and so far, it just hasn't fallen into place and I'm oddly okay with it. I wake up before 7am everyday and I actually kind of enjoy it. Weird, I know.

Let me just tell you all the wonderful things I've enjoyed this week before 9am: 

On Saturday morning as I was going for a walk there was a bike race going on right outside my door. I walked to the park and watched the race while they blasted some good tunes. I liked that. I would have never found joy in this before...ah, the joys.

On Sunday morning I left my house at 8am with my iPod blasting some wonderful music. I was walking to get breakfast and on the way I saw a bunch of chairs set up at the park so I decided to turn off my music to hear what was going on...sure enough, Sonrise church was having their services at the city park. I stopped, listened to their live band, which was actually very good, and then perhaps joined their church. Maybe I'll go back next week. And most of all, I'm glad I can see the joy of having a higher power these days. How cool.

On Monday I got to watch the 4th of July parade. I don't remember the last time I woke up for and enjoyed a parade. Well, this was the year folks. I had fun with friends and family. Fun day. :) 

Every morning I get to enjoy the birds chirping. I never thought I'd enjoy being woken up at 6 or 7am by some birds practically screaming by my window...but I love it! What a cool way to start my day. 

One of my most favorite things that I do most every morning is going to the park and sitting at the picnic table and watching everyone else. I've also found that I enjoy journaling a lot more when I'm outside and listening to music. If you ever need me before 8am, come to the city park...I'll be there. 

Oh, and I've read two books in the last week and now I'm reading a book about Ghandi. Life is good. 

everything looks perfect from far away...

Today is...another day. 

I'm sober. 

I'm breathing.

I'm alive. 

I guess that means it's a good day.

I don't have anything profound to say...go figure. I hope everyone has a good weekend! :) 

today

 i get to see my favorite boy in the whole world today!

go ahead, be jealous.

life as it is now

Life today is good. Great, actually. I am enjoying the simple things in life: friends, family, and of course, food.

I was able to spend the 4th of July with my sister Anne and my dear friend Corinne and her baby Lily. It was Lily's first birthday yesterday and I'm glad I got to celebrate with her! We went to the parade, the park, had lunch and then later that night watched fireworks and had sparklers. I'm so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life who make each day a new adventure!

Right now I'm going through a period of change. Pretty much everyone and everything in my life is different than it has been before. I miss my old friends and I miss my old home. I miss my old life...

HOWEVER,

I don't remember the last time I woke up in the morning and didn't feel like I wanted to die, either from being hungover or because I really didn't have anything for me. Now I wake up in the morning refreshed and excited to see what the day has to offer me.  I'm grateful for all the things I've learned in the...well, my entire life, but especially the last year or so.

With all the changes in my life that are taking place, I find myself single and flying solo, once again. I miss Jordan and hope she's well. Life is funny like that...but I think that's just how it goes. My life is going in a totally different direction that it was 2 months ago and I'm still shocked everyday by all the people in my life who are cheering for me. Thank you to everyone for all your support and understanding.

Oh, and I'm gonna make this today while I'm "crafting" with Enna. :] Wish me luck!

Well hello, beautiful world out there...

Hello friends. I'm back. Rehab was...well...rehab. I'm glad to be a tad bit healthier and ready to have some fun.

Check this stuff out: (When I get my own place...here is my inspiration)...I'm just hoping it turns out remotely as cute as all this stuff!