do you believe in magic?

Pray for my sister (if you pray), otherwise think happy-get-well-thoughts or something for her. She's sick and in the middle of nowhere on her mission. I would love for her to be able to stay out there because, lets be real, she's the happiest little mofo in the world right now. 

Pray, hope, think, meditate, or whatever else ya'll do, for my baby sis. 

Thanks!

HGC: what have i signed up for?!

Oh hell. What have I gotten myself into this time you ask?

Well, I placed my order for some HGC drops today with Anna and Jaime. We're gonna see what happens. And I might be a little bitchy for about a month. No more candy and coke for me! Ah, shiz!

Wish me luck!

rainbows and butterflies

I am deciding to love my life right now even if it's not exactly what I'd choose if I could. School isn't so bad, my fam is rad, I have the coolest friends in Utah, and I'm going to the Tegan and Sara concert in two weeks. My life in little old Cedar City could be terrible but for the most part, I really do like it.

I mean, if I had the opportunity to leave tomorrow (and have my degree completed), I'd hop on the plane/bus/car/boat/any form of transportation in a heartbeat. I've been itching to get outta here for so long it almost seems like a dream. A bad dream. As much as I truly do love Cedar and all my friends and family that are here, it's not for me. I need something else. I want something different.

Earlier today my friend said she's gonna hop on a plane and move to Texas to runaway from and solve problems. Though I am guilty of doing exactly that a number of times (not quite as drastic moves geographically, but for the same reasons), I don't feel like that's why I want to leave this time. I mean sure, some part of my is probably trying to runaway from something or someone from my past. For the most part though, I think I'm just finally ready to break free from all that is expected of me here in Utah, in my parents basement, from everyone who knows me.

Leaving Cedar isn't going to solve my problems, make me into someone new, or adjust my outlook on life. Leaving Cedar will allow me to be who I am, make new friends, and have new adventures without me having to worry about offending those that are close to me. I'll always love Cedar and I have so many memories and friends here that I think I'll always call it home; I just need to have a "vacation" home as well. Sometimes living here is exhausting; I'm ready to relax and just be myself.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't feel like it is impossible to be myself right here, living in the 'rents basement--it's a choice that I'm making and have made for a long time. In order to respect my parents (family) beliefs it makes it difficult to be "myself". It's not like I'm fake right now, I'm just not doing what I'd be doing under different circumstances.

So here's to getting the hell done with school and getting the eff outta Utah...or at least out of my parents basement.

***this is not meant offensively to my parents. they are some of the coolest folks I know. love you M and D. :)

spice up my life, please.

Hi I'm Jill and I'm a blog stalker...I love reading random blogs- but not just any random blogs....I like funny, cute, interesting kind of blogs. I'm not really a huge fan of the my-life-is-so-perfect kind of blogs.

I have a few blogs that I check every day hoping that they will be updated; it's disappointing when they aren't. Thing is, I'm getting bored. I need some new material, if you will. I need your help. Yes, you.

What is your favorite blog? Do tell.

Please and thank you (in advance). :) [creep smile for all of you]

some depot poetry

For a while, Anna (co-worker) and I were writing poetry every day, all day. I mean seriously, we even started a poetry (unbeknownst to the owners of the gas station in which we work) contest for all the Depot cracks. We wrote poems for our bosses, co-workers, friends, family, and random people we met. Some people thought we were weird, some thought we might be on drugs, and some just thought it was normal. I still have no idea why we decided to become Depot poets, but it sure was good times. So tonight, as I sit here bored and alone, I am going to write some Depot poetry for all my blog stalkers.

Okay, I lied. I am not really going to do that because I can't think of anything except that I'm tired and I want to go to bed and never wake up. I mostly just wanted to document this very special time of my life that I've had at the Depot. Poetry Days have been some of the best lived here in Depot Land and I don't wanna forget about them!

scrabble: my one true love

 Since it's Valentines Day today I thought I'd share with you my love of scrabble. I think I would marry it if I could, so it must be love, right? I don't remember when my love for scrabble began, but I know it was around age 4. My mom has always been an avid word person; she loves scrabble. I remember watching my parents play scrabble for hours on end. I was fascinated by the game and always wanted to play with them.

When I was around 9 years old, I met Lily (and Max) when they moved in across the street from us. They were in their 60's at that time, I think. Anyway, Lily also had a passion for words and was an excellent scrabble master. I would go to her house every Sunday and she would play with me, teach me new words, and show me strategies. Looking back on these times I can only imagine how frustrating that might have been for her. I mean, I was 9 years old and she was brilliant.

The older I got, the less appealing scrabble became. I didn't want to play Scrabble...I wanted to be cool. I don't think I played more than ten times my entire high school career. And then it happened. My boyfriend at the time left on his mission and I needed a hobby. My mom got out the Scrabble board and it's been history ever since. I love Scrabble. I love speed Scrabble, regular scrabble, any kind of Scrabble.

I love Scrabble so much that I want to dedicate an entire room to the cause if I ever get my own pad. I want a Scrabble table (Lily has an amazing one), clock, pictures, pillows, etc. Trust me, I have it all planned out. It will be awesome. And then maybe one day I'll play in a Scrab tourny. How RAD would that be?!

P.S. I have decided I want to start collecting Scrabble boards or anything to do with the game. So, if you're ever wondering what I want for my birthday (Sept. 4) or Christmas, you know what to get me!

just a little reminder: Jazzy Hoes!

In case you haven't heard (highly unlikely since I talk about it all the time) or have forgotten, check out my Jazzy Hoe blog at www.jazzyhoes.blogspot.com

Also, please e-mail me some Jazzy Hoe pics if you have any! We love getting new pictures; the more the better!!

if my life were made into a book...

I think I live a pretty awesome life and often wonder what it'd be like if it were made into a book. Here's a little sneak preview of what it might be like if I actually decided to take the time to write an autobiography (which at this point in time I have no intention of doing). 

Title: How I Survived: Jill's Life in Utahville 

Chapter 1: Being Born a Provo-ite: the ins and outs of Happy Valley

Chapter 2: Hating Church; being forced to participate. 

Chapter 3: Finding A Husband: AKA, hellish ordeal

Chapter 4: Just Keep Drinking: A Guide To Being an Alcoholic

Chapter 5: Drinking: a continuation of the previous chapter

Chapter 6: Vegas is Only a Two Hour Drive Away: Thank God!

Chapter 7: Gag Me: I Do Not Like You. 

Chapter 8: Well Hello There...I DO Like You.

Chapter 9: Wow, Utah Isn't So Bad...I Still Wanna Leave

Chapter 10: to be decided...

i knew this day would come...just didn't think it'd be this soon!

Today I was having a convo with my little bro Joey. If you don't know Joey, you're missing out. Anyway, it went a little something like this:
Me: Hey Joe Bear! Guess what?! You're almost 17! CRAZY! You're getting so big. I hate it. 
Joey: Jill. I'm still in high school. I'm not old.
Me: Well Joey, you're gonna be 18 in like a year! What the H!
Joey: Ha, I know! I can't wait.
Me: Do you know how old I am? 
Joey: hmmm...I forgot.
Me: I'm 24. Gross. I'm gonna be 25 in September.
Joey: Ew, you're almost 30! You'll be a freak!
Me: Joey, don't be mean! (pretending to cry)
Joey: Well...Jill, get real.

What the hell? My little brother thinks I'm old. Not just getting older, but old. Like old maid status. I think I'm gonna die. I mean, I know I'm gettin' to the "old maid" status in Utah world but that's not a problem for me. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is the fact that I only have five years until I'm actually "old". EEK!

 Good thing I love Joey...a lot. Otherwise he might have been punched in the face or something. 

Valentines Day: the best of times and the worst of times....

Valentines Day is a day of mixed emotions for a lot of people. Is it one of happiness and love or one of despair and hopelessness? Well, for me, it's one that I just don't really care about. I mean, yeah, I've had plenty of lovers and fun times on V-Day; I guess it's not terrible. I, for one, am a big supporter of showing your significant other that you love them. I just don't see the point of dedicating a day to buy them shit to prove that love. Here is a (small) list of my reasoning behind my take on the ol' V-Day:

• I am the least romantic person I've ever met. Literally. 
• Roses don't make me think you love me.
• Sick love notes on Hallmark cards with little to no thought put into them make me wanna barf.
• A day dedicated to people who are "in love" so that they can express their love seems a little pathetic. I mean, can't you just be in love all the time and not have to have a specific day set aside to be mushy?
• I don't have any plans; it's on a Sunday so there will be nothing going on in the thriving metropolis of Cedar City.
• I don't think pink and red, alone, go well together. Make it a rainbow and it's much prettier, but plain pink and red are gaggy. I don't like it. 
• Doileys (if that's how to spell it) are disgusting and it seems people like them around V-Day. Why?! 
• Wearing underwear that say "I Love You" is one thing, but wearing full-on sex outfits with lips, hearts, and "kisses" on them is really weird. Just have sex, don't be a clown or something. 
• Chocolate is fine and I'll take it if you wanna give it to me, but my fat ass really doesn't need it. Thanks!
• Love "coupons" make me wanna gag myselft with a fork nine times. I mean, honestly, I don't think that even my dirty mind could top what some of those "coupons" offer. It's one thing to do certain things spontaneously but it's a whole new level when you offer your "services" by way of coupons. Unless it says "make your bed for a week", "wash the dishes", or "clean the bathroom for a month" I don't want your damn coupons. 
• People waste a lot of money on not very delicious food. Pizza and a movie would be much better than some gross "fancy" dinner. If you could get on that right now, I'd really appreciate it. 
• I'd rather watch basketball in my bed alone than be on an awkward date with some dude I don't really like. 

 *this list is in no way meant offensively to those of you loving people who are in relationships and sometimes do really nasty things for love. i still love you and hope the very best for you and your significant other. just keep your hands to yourself when you're around me and we're good to go. i promise to do the same around you, cause trust me, you don't wanna see me gettin' it on.

I Got Sunburned at the Beach...

I'm totally fried from fake tanning. Wait, before you judge me, hear me out. Last night I was having one of the most bitch-tastic nights of my life...as in I was being a bitch. My dear friend, Britt, and I decided to eat food and go tanning. Fake tanning. It was lightly snowing (actually I don't remember if it was really snowing or not, but it adds a little somethin' to the story), I was cold as hell (if hell is cold), and I needed me some sunlight. What better way to solve Bitch Fest 2010 than to fake bake? None I tell you.

Ah, as I basked in my "sunlit" tanning booth listening to 98.1 with Delila (soft rock, less talk) I thought about how incredibly awesome my life is right now. I mean, yeah...school is kicking my ass and making me want to dive off a cliff with sharp rocks at the bottom, but my life is pretty amazing. I live rent-free (but not parent-free), I get to do anything I want, anytime I want. I mean, it seems I'm always doing something crazy fun and I like my life.

Anyway, back to fake baking...as I was lying there jamming to some sick soft rock, I lost track of time. I told the front desk girl to set my bed for 20 minutes; I was thinking I'd get out sooner if I felt like I was gonna get crispy. Well, as my luck would have it, I stayed the entire 20 minutes. Now if you don't know me this might not be a big deal to you, but for those of you who have seen my pasty, white body you'd understand. One day later and I'm in a world of hurt. I look like a lobster, feel like little pins are stabbing my body and have the whitest ass on earth right now (yep, I left my undies on and thank the Lord for that)!

Anyway, it must not be too bad since I plan to go back very soon. I don't care how much it will increase my risk of getting skin cancer (already runs in the fam and I'm doomed anyhow), how fake it is, or how much it might hurt the day after. I love being warm and if fake tanning is how I'm going to accomplish this during Utah's freezing winters, then so be it! I love FAKE BAKING!

super bowl, rain forest cafe, and chicken nuggets

The Super Bowl was fun times. I cheered for the Saints and they won. yay. I even got myself a Saints Jersey; I have no idea who the dude is, but whateve!

I got to eat lobster dip at the rain forest cafe. yummmmmm!

I ate 20 chicken nuggets in about...ten minutes. um, gross right? So good though.

mmmmmm

Pretty sure I'm in love with Celine. Yep, that's right. 

Be jeal.

ohhh yeahhhhh, feels good to be free!

• Mesquite trip with Anna and Jaime? Check.
• Vegas trip with Tennile? Check.
• St. George trip with Britt? Check.
• Another Vegas trip on Sunday with Anna and Jaime? But of course.

What a crazy week! Bring it on! 

Ed the Wallet saves Jill's life.

Okay folks. It's official...

After 25 (almost) years of not using a wallet/purse, I have successfully used a wallet for over an entire month now!

YAY for me!

Okay, but seriously, what the eff is wrong with me? How come it took me so long to realize how annoying it is to lose my I.D., money, and license every time I need them? This past month has been a little slice of heaven, all thanks to Ed (that's my wallet). I mean, without Ed, I'd be lost...or at least all my stuff would be gone.

So, thanks Ed for keeping my stuff together for me. You're a life saver!

um, so this one time...

• i'm pretty sure hacking up green snot and not being able to breathe in without my lungs collapsing is a bad sign. Guess we'll see what the doc says in the morning....
• i have taken more sleeping pills and nyquil than is recommended for a 7 day period since 9am this morning; i'm still awake. thank you to my wonderful body that has such high resistence to drugs and alcohol. what would i do without you?
• i can't fall asleep and i'm going to rip my hair out.
• i hope i start my period soon because, lets just say i've been a bitch face for a few days. or a few weeks. shit. 
• i need to clean my room and bathroom like it ain't no thang. am i planning to do so anytime soon? no. does this irritate the hell out of me? yes, indeed. 
• school is kicking my ass. it's awesome....in a not so awesome way.
• tomorrow is friday. yay.
• 3 basketball games on saturday = i hope i can stop coughing my lungs up by then. it's really not so great to watch basketball if all i do is hack my lungs up. 
• i'm gonna shut up now. goodnight

I guess I'll come out of my coma

uhhhgg. Someone please bang my head on the concrete or run me over. I'm so sick of school; I can't handle it anymore. It seriously pisses me off to go on Tuesdays because I have class from 10am-5pm and I hate all of the classes, but especially the last one which goes from 2:30-5pm. What a waste of time and energy!

In good news, my Jr Jazzie's are doing well. Practice on Monday was fun and we learned lots; hopefully tonight will be good as well.

I'm  not gonna lie, I went into hibernation mode last night at 6pm and now it's 8:15am and I just woke up. I took sleeping pills and nyquil to knock myself out; it worked wonders. Now I feel ready to take on the day!

bingo, basketball, and black (dresses)

(Imagine me batting my eyelashes, with music playing in the background and pink sparkles everywhere... and then continue reading with that image in your head the whole time.)
Today was a long day. And for the love of all that's good and holy, I have no idea why I am still awake. But here I am. 

It all started Saturday at 1AM when my BFF and I got a brilliant idea to go sledding. Since we're probably the laziest people on earth (not really, but close), we decide to tie the sled to a rope which was attached to my car inside the trunk. We cruised each other around for an hour or so... Can we say HECKA fun?! By the way, it was a blizzard and I hate snow (if you didn't already catch that drift).



As I was driving home I got a picture message from Annie B. of her and her *choke* fiance (unofficially). Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for Annie it's unreal, it just makes me miss her more. Anyway, she called me and we chatted about how I need to find a black dress by April 10th. I can't remember the last time I owned or wore a dress. This should be quite the adventure. I'm kind of excited about it at this point in the day. Earlier today I was having a mild anxiety attack about the whole ordeal, but it's growing on me. Hell, maybe I'll even like wearing the dress. Okay, lets not get too crazy..that'll never happen.


After I hung up the phone with Annie it was well after I should have been sleeping. I finally snuggled into my bed at around 4:30AM. Barf.

My phone started blaring "I Kissed a Girl" much too early to my liking and at 7:30AM I rolled my not-so-happy-ass outta bed and into the shower. Team pictures for my Jr Jazzies took place today and I had to be in the photo. Barf. Oh well. The best part of this section of my really lame but at the same time awesome day is that my 7th/8th graders won their game!!! YAY! 


After the game I called my grandma to see how she was holding up; she seemed bored, so I went out to visit her. We went and played BINGO with the other residents and it made me realize how much I really do not want to get old. I guess I could always look forward to winning 25 cents a game at BINGO...now that's really somethin!

After a rousing game of BINGO and a nice chat with the G-rents I headed to the SUU women's bball game with my cousin. Not only did the girls win in double overtime, we scored some sweet SUU t-shirts. I love free t-shirts!

Then to top off my oh-so-freaking-cool-day I got the honors of closing the Depot from 7pm-11pm. And lets be real, I saw 6 people the entire time I was there and we made a whopping $300.00...my oh my, life is grand. And I lied...I didn't get to the Depot until 7:20pm because the damn girls kept going into overtime.

Now it's 1:05AM and I'm still awake. I'm tired as hell. I work 13 hours tomorrow and I have homework coming out every pore in my body. I need a vaca ASAP.

(Imagine the sparkles getting more intense and the music fading as my eyelashes disappear from the screen...)

i'm the smartest person on earth

Literally. I swear I'm so smart it hurts sometimes...and then days like yesterday happen.

I woke up early, showered, got ready, and was actually out the door by 8:40am. If you know me, you know that's a major feat. Usually being 20 minutes late to class is good for me. I planned to leave early because of the freaking 20 feet of snow we got the night before so that I could thaw my car, scrape the windows and find a decent parking space at school.

Anyway, so at 8:40 am I rushed out my door, forgot my backpack, ran back inside and grabbed it and started my car. Since it was a million degrees below zero, I decided to let my car do the work on getting the ice off my windshield so I wouldn't have to scrape it. I revved up my engine (about 20 times), sprayed it with ice melting stuff and waiting about five minutes. Then I tried to leave. Uh, why isn't my car moving?? I mean, I know I drive a tiny little car that isn't bigger than a 4-wheeler...but really?? It didn't budge. I tried again. And again...and again! For about ten minutes I sat there trying to get my car to move and it was just not working. Blah. I woke up early for this?! LAME!

So I called my dad (he saves me a lot). He said he'd come get me. In the meantime, I was STILL revving up my engine trying to get somewhere. I noticed my neighbor walking up to help me, so I rolled down my window and she told me to try reversing. Still nothing. WTF is wrong with my stupid car?!

And then I noticed the emergency brake was still on...oops.

I took it off and reversed (just to appease the neighbor) and sped away.

Moral of the story:
Sometimes on days like this it reminds me that I'm really not that smart and maybe I should be less of a bitch.Oh, and that I EFFING hate snow more than anything on earth...or at least pretty close to that.

Yes mom and dad, I still made it to class only one minute late. Be proud. xoxo

"why aren't you married?"...

It seems I get the infamous "why aren't you married" line quite often these days. So here's to all you curious folk and the answers to why I am not married. First of all, let me make it perfectly clear that I am super happy for all of my married friends who have found happiness in doing so.

Now, lets get down and dirty.

People seem to equate love and marriage with beauty: "You're so pretty...how come you aren't married?" or "Wow, for such a beautiful girl it seems like it'd be easier to find a husband".  Thanks for the compliments folks, but really? I think I'll start saying, "Wow, for such a plain person you sure found a looker to marry you!" or "Holy shit, I can't believe someone actually wanted to marry you with your snaggle tooth and pimple face. Congrats!".

The next thing people bring into my whole "marriage dilemma" is that I'm too liberal. Someone actually told me that if I would "just stop thinking so damn much maybe boys wouldn't feel so intimidated by me and would want to ask me on a date"...Um, really? No, thanks! Maybe it is just a phase (me being liberal), but I like it and I'm not going to change that so I can find a husband.

"If you were active in the church you'd be married by now for sure!"...huh? No I wouldn't. God has nothing to do with marriage. Sure, I might be in a singles ward filled with lots of potential mates but I'd also want to rip my hair or slice myself with a dull blade. So for now it's probably best if I don't do that.

I'm 24 years old people. I still have a long time to "find my eternal companion". I want to see the world, live in a trailer in Death Valley, make new friends, dye my hair pink (again), get a tattoo, live in Hawaii, and cure world hunger before I get married. Trust me, I'm not bored...I'm pretty sure that if you're worried about me finding a husband it's you who are bored. Get a hobby and leave me alone. Thanks and have a great day!

I'll be just fine, you'll see.

sometimes I am a bitch and I can't stop.

I would apologize for my last few posts since I've been pretty bitchy, but I'm not gonna lie I am just being honest. I guess I could just say that even if you fall under any of the past couple of posts (fbook on your big wedding day, can't spell, etc.), I probably still like you even if I pretend that I wouldn't.

And lets clear up something else: I'm really nice sometimes. I care about people and I love being with friends. Just have some common sense and we'll be okay.

5 Things I'm grateful for:
1. A healthy body that allows me to do so many things.
2. Friends and family who love me no matter what I do or think.
3. Sleep. I just love it. No reason.
4. School. I sure complain about it a lot for liking it so much. I should just suck it up and shut up about it.
5. A job. It's not glamorous but it's a job and those are hard to come by in Utah right now.

oh, and one more thing...

Lets get one more thing under control while we're at it..."lose" and "loose" mean completely different things and it's a little embarrassing when you mix them up.

Lost=lose

Not tight=loose

Can you think of any more annoying spelling errors I should be ranting about?

*And yes, I'm being serious when I say that these spelling errors might possibly be the most annoying thing on earth in my book. 

lets just get something straight

 Getting “their”, “they’re”, and "there";  “you’re” and “your”; "to", "too", and "two" mixed up might possibly be the sickest thing on earth. Literally. 


If you don't know how to use these words correctly, don't use them. You look stupid and it annoys the hell out of me. 


I'm pretty sure we learned the meanings and proper uses of these words by the time we were in second grade. Need a refresher?  Check out these worksheets; if you have questions, do ask.

weddings, facebook, and me being a bitch.

Sue me. I'm a bitch; I can admit it.

 Ready...set...CHANGE YOUR STATUS TO MARRIED (30 seconds after gettin' hitched, preferably)!

Okay, so here we go. It really bothers me, dear friends, when you get married (yay! for you and that you found your "eternal companion") and then spend the whole day of  and the week following your wedding on freaking FACEBOOK. We don't care what waterfall you saw today, go have sex or something. Don't update your status every 12 minutes letting us know you married the best dude in the world. I mean, I hope you're happy and all but lets just enjoy your time with your spouse and leave your computer out of it.

Below we see this romantic little devil updating his status during the wedding ceremony. Nothing says true love like letting all the other women on Fbook know he's taken now. Way to be on top of things dude!

While I do admit that I update my status like a mad-woman and I like it. A lot. I am not getting married, nor will I be getting married in the near future, if ever. I am not updating my status on the day that I give it up to someone for the first time, making eternal commitments to God and another human, or traveling the world on a romantic honeymoon. I'm just chillin' in Cedar, probably at work or school. You, my dear newly wed, should be doing something else rather than updating your effing status for the world to see.

Have a good day.

Warm regards,                                              

Jill                                                                                   

morphine and stuff

Today my grandma fell and broke her hip. She's in surgery as I type this post. Luckily she's all cracked out on pain pills and I think she'll be fine.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about how much I do not want to get old; today only helped reconfirm my desire to die young. I think I'll drive my car off a cliff the day I begin to feel "old". Sounds good to me!

some sunday madness for ya'll (and by ya'll i really mean ME)

If only you could see you through my eyes, then maybe you'd understand.

Maybe then you'd see you how I see you.

Until then, I'll just keep reminding you.

this is how we do it..

I totally forgot about my old blog until today and boy am I glad I kept it around in the archives. It's funny how similar I was two years ago without knowing or being okay with a lot of the things that consume my life currently. Although I wouldn't go as far as to say that I'm "on track", I know what I want and I know what I need to do in order to obtain it. Two years ago I was lost on multiple levels and it all makes sense. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

I'm just glad I didn't go along with the crowd on the things I was so confused over two years ago; while I will probably always struggle on some level with certain things, who doesn't? Had I gone along with what was "best for me" at that time and before that, I'd probably be married with two kids and one the way. Although that's great for some people, I would end up in a mental institution if I tried to be that person.

Maybe I'll end up in a mental institution regardless of what I choose to do with my life...but at least I won't be jacking up my kids by doing so.

oops, i already forgot my new years resolutions

No joke. I know I blogged them so I could always look them up, but really what's the point of making them if I can't remember them two weeks later. OOPS! Maybe I'll have to print them and tape them all over my bedroom walls...yes, I think I will.

I'm tired of coughing my lungs up. That should stop soon. Please and thank you. Lung god, if you're out there...please make this stop ASAP!

I <3 Obama. I have a t-shirt that says just that stapled to my wall...since 2008. Go big or go home.

I need water but I'm too lazy to get my happy ass out of bed to get some, so instead I'll just whine about being thirty on my blog.

SUU women's basketball team won their game on Monday by 1 point. It was a thriller for sure. Love it!

I have watched five basketball games thus far this week. And I plan to watch at least three more that I know about. This is a good thing in my life.

I cut Mya and Leila's hair. Surprisingly it looks pretty good! I wasn't too nervous with Mya because her hair is fine and easy to manage, but with Leila's hair being almost exactly like my crazy wanna-be black girl fro I got a little tense. The girls both liked the end results and so did their mom, so I guess it's all good!

I am not a fan of my research group. The end.

I got to see Britt this week and plan to see her again this weekend. Yay for friends.

The dentist said my teeth are perfect. No probs there. Woot!

I made a path to my bed so that I won't have to trip over all the shit on my floor. And by shit, I really mean junk...and by junk, I mostly mean clothes. I need to start being less of a slob or something. Until then, at least I can safely make it to my bed.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to cure my lungs of this evil disease...and maybe to see if he'll give me some crazy pills, too. Then I won't have to be so ADDish in school. We'll see how that goes. I'm crossing my fingers.

It's 2010 and I graduated high school in 2004, shouldn't I be effing done with college by now? Seriously, I could practically be a doctor by this time. FML! But really, I wouldn't trade my 25 year college plan for anything! It's been a long, very productive and life-changing journey thus far. Thanks M & D for letting me live in your basement all this time (with a few minor pauses).

Speaking of that, I'll be 25 this year. Creepy. I wanna be 15, not 25. So much to do, so little time...cause if you think about it, my life is more than 1/4 over even if I live to be crazy old...which I have NO intention of doing.

I have the best brother on earth. Joey is the best thing in my life every day and some days he is the only good thing. I love his guts.

I miss Enna; I'm super glad we get to g-chat and fbook it up still though. Only 16 more months, baby! xoxo

Don't be fake. It's annoying and everyone can see past your stupid masks.  The end. 

I want to move. I've never been content to stay in one place or do the same thing for long. I like change, I like new faces, new things. I gotta get out of here. Pray that I'll graduate in the next 112349 years so that I can get the hell out of Utah. I want something different! But I also want to be able to come to my parents basement sometimes...so, mom and dad please don't move! Love you.

I need sleeping pills apparently. My brain does not shut off and it is driving me insane. Goodnight fools.

my life. just a boring update. prepare to be bored if you choose to read this one...

Sometimes I wish that I could be someone else, even for one day. Wouldn't it be cool/interesting/eye-opening? I can't imagine living someone else's life, thinking how they think, and acting how they act; I would love to be able to do so. It would surely make me realize that I have a pretty damn easy life and maybe it'd even make me be glad I am who I am (which lets be real, I AM glad I am who I am most of the time).

Lately I have just been in a slump. I feel tired, sick, depressed and worn out. I am glad to be in school because I know it's what I want to do, but it's already killing me and I'm in the second week. That's not a good sign. I try to keep busy with extra activities because when I get bored nothing good comes of it. I've been going to a few basketball games a week, coaching my 7th and 8th grade team, and shootin' some hoops myself and I love it.

I have the best family on the freakin' planet. Be jeal. They love me for me, even though I do some pretty dumb shit sometimes. My parents are some of the most understanding people I know and it makes my job of being me a lot easier. Although we don't agree on most things politically..or otherwise, I know they love me no matter what I choose to do; not everyone can say that. My friends are simply amazing. The friends I spend every day with to the friends I haven't seen in months-- you're all wonderful. Thanks for putting up with me.

With all of these things it seems I should be a lot happier and upbeat than I feel lately. I feel like I should be floating around on cloud 9 with all the other  happy people...but I'm not. Maybe it's the snowy weather that's making me blue, maybe it's the fact that I miss my sister more than I've ever missed anyone before, or maybe my lungs being hacked up every time I cough is the determining factor in my depressed state. Whatever the reason might be, I hope that it quickly passes me by so that I can return to my normal, okay-with-my-life-self. Til then, sorry I'm emo.

i'm in a slump and i can't get out

Hellllllllllllllllp

Joey Cat: my favorite boy (person, really) in the entire world

Sometimes when I wake up I find notes from Joey that go something like this:

"Dear Jill, I love you. Put more music on my ipod. Thanks. I love you so much.

love, your favorite brother Joey"

*I get at least one note a week. At least he knows he's my fav. Love that little freakin' buff guy...who can now beat me up and win at arm wrestles. Ah, shiz.

Meet Me Upstairs

Recently a few friends and I have been trying desperately to think of ways to escape the black hole in which we live. I mean, yes, we can get out pretty easily. We could go anywhere in the world, right? Right. But we want to make the cost of leaving far outweigh staying in our humble little town. We don't want to settle for less than we currently have, which is quite great...most of the time.

After much brainstorming and consideration, we have decided that we are going to move to New York City, Hawaii (anywhere), or Southern California. Why you ask? We are going to open a bar. It will be called "Meet Me Upstairs" and there will be no stairs. We like it. We like it so much that we have, quite literally, signed our names in blood that we are going to do this; trying to convince us that it's not a good idea will not work. We've past the point of rationality about this subject, trust me.

We've decided that while having a bar will be fun, entertaining, and hopefully somewhat profitable, we also want "day time"/real? jobs. During the day, Meet Me Upstairs will turn into what we haven't named yet but will be the home to our very own grilled cheese cafe. A dream come true in my world, if I do say so myself. "Meet Me Upstairs" will also house a beauty salon (we're still looking for a beautician if anyone is interested), a tattoo parlor and a t-shirt shop. We're gonna be busy, busy, busy.

Wish us luck...not that we need it since we're all pretty freaking amazing.

Oh, and the "set" time frame for this to happen is within three years. We figure we'll all get our degrees so that people can come bull shit with us all day long about intellectual things. We'll see...

2010: resloutions

What time of year you ask? The time where I make a lot of resolutions, set out to accomplish them all, and usually only stick to one or two. This year is gonna be different though; I'm gonna make goals that I can/will keep. Here are my "resolutions" for 2010, baby. They are in no particular order at this point in time, although I guess I should probably rank them since that's what goal-oriented people do. I'll get to that someday.

• This year I want to pass all my classes (again). Not only do I want to pass them, but I'm gonna get B's or better in all of them. Yep, you read that correctly. 
• Get/stay at least semi-organized. I don't mean I'm going to have my room/bathroom spotless, although that'd be nice. What I'm talking about is on a much more simple level. I got a wallet for myself for Christmas and it'd be cool if I actually used it so that I don't lose my debit card, license and student ID every day. Baby steps...
• Get my damn DUI taken care of once and for all. At this point I could care less what happens. It's been 8 months and still nothing has been done, for better or for worse. Yes, I wish I didn't have it but I do so now I just want to be done with it. 
• Be a better friend, daughter, sister, co-worker, etc... If I say I'm gonna do something, do it.
• Live more. Sometimes I worry too much and don't let loose enough. I want to be spontaneous, while still responsible. I want to take random trips, go on adventures, and have an awesome year!

Hope everyone has a wonderful new year!! 2010, oh yeah!

wasn't this year just a peach?

Seriously?

What I Wish I'd known...

Today as I walked in the SUU to drop off some forms to the Financial Aid office, I had an overwhelming thought. WHY IN THE HELL WAS I IN SCHOOL FROM AGES 18-23?? WHY?
...
Now lets backtrack here...I started at SUU the semester following my high school graduation. Pretty normal, right? I did okay, but hated it for the most part. I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I had people telling me I'd be a wonderful teacher, which of course I could, but I didn't want to do that. I knew I would be miserable if I decided to pursure my elementary education degree. After dropping out and moving to Provo to sort things out, I decided that I'd be a high school teacher. Go me. I came home, took the Education 2000 class and almost shot myself in the face. There was no way I would ever become a teacher if I couldn't ever stand taking the first required class for that major, so I crossed teaching off my list and proceeded to fail out of school a good five times. And let me tell you folks, that takes a great deal of talent.
...
After moving home from Provo I landed a job working with at-risk youth. For the first few months I only worked graveyards so I didn't get to know the program or the youth very well. When I finally started working on a day time shift, I fell in love. I knew exactly what I wanted to do: work with youth, but not teach in a school setting. After three years of working in group homes, I figured I should probably get back in school, finish my degree and perhaps go to graduate school. I am currently about a year away from having my bachelors in Sociology. YAY for that; I couldn't be happier.
...
I wish I would have known all along what I wanted to do. I wish I would have waited to do school until I was sure on what I wanted to be when "I grow up". Although I don't think I'd take back any of the experiences I've had while getting to this point, it sure woulda been a whole lot less expensive...especially since the government is now paying for my school since I'm an old fart (24 years old).

So, really...I wish I would have just been more of a free spirit (if that's even possible) during the last five years. If I ever have to re-do my life, I'd start with that. I'll start school when I'm 24, go for free, and actually have a plan.

dear netflix,

Dear Netflix,
Thank you for the free trial. I think I'll stick with you. You've cured my boredom, opened new windows to me, and have enlightened me with a lot of new and exciting films. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Jill

if you want me to poke my eyes out...

• Make me go to church. Any amount church of any church sends me into ADD mode times 1000. I'm not sure why this happens, it's probably all in my mind but regardless of why, it happens. Example: I went to midnight mass (no, I'm not Catholic) on Christmas Eve with some friends and even though it's new and different I still get restless and want to throw myself in front of a bus. Call me dramatic but this really happens. 
• Make me wake up before 8am without purpose or cause. I like sleeping in and unless there is a valid reason (work or school) to wake up before then makes me wanna gouge my eyes out with a spoon. There is no reason for anyone to be up before the sun without a motive, so don't even think about making me. 
• Give me a boring lecture. I can't count the number of times I go to class having read the material that was assigned only to find that the professor is going to re-read the same information to me by way of power point slides. I literally have to force myself to stay seated and remain silent, while inside of me I am fuming and restless. I can read...I'm in college. Don't read shit to me that I have already read. Thanks.
• Put on a movie with no meaning or message. I cannot handle sitting through a movie with no purpose. Now, don't get me wrong, I love chick flicks and it's a little embarrassing how many times I've actually seen How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days or Ten Things I Hate About You, but put on an "action/drama" film and I'm gonna stab your eyes out and then my own. I do not enjoy watching people kill each other for fun, watching stupid dudes race their lame cars, or movies about the world blowing up...not my thing. Don't do it. 
• Romance novels. Gag me and then poke my eyes out. Enough said.
• Tell a stupid joke more than once. In fact, tell it every time I see you. And don't make it a short joke, either. Drag it on, and on, and on....
• Speaking of dragging on and on, tell me every detail of everything you did and ate since the last time I saw you. Really? I'll ask if I wanna know. Thanks!
• Put your 2 year-old on ADD meds. I'll poke your eyes out for you. Don't do it. Your two-year-old doesn't have ADD or bipolar, you do. Don't eff their life up to make yours easier, please and thank you. 

Okay, I could go on for hours about all the things that make me wanna poke my eyes (and yours) out but I'll be done for today. Much peace and love to all. :)

*after reviewing this post i concluded that i may or may not have ADHD. thoughts?

happy birthday dad!

I'd like to give a little shout-out to my dad today since it's his b-day! yay! Happy birthday, ya old fart.

But in all seriousness, my dad is the coolest dude ever (tied with Joey). He's the most giving, compassionate person I know. He is always putting everyone else before himself and has done so much for me it's unreal; even when I do the stupidest things on earth I can always count on my dad to be there for me.

He is also one of the most sarcastic people on earth...who woulda thunk? Some people wonder where I get my dry sense of humor, but I only learned from the best! I love my dad so much! Thanks for all you do, father! Love you! Hope your birthday is super!!!

can't wait til tomorrow...

The best thing, to me, about Christmas is the day after. Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas and I love giving. I love the feeling that Christmas brings and how much more giving everyone is in general. But like anything, it gets old. I can't handle all the gaggy decorations, the TREEs inside, the sick lights, and of course, the music. Like I said, it's okay for a while, but since most people start these oh-so-wonderful traditions around Thanksgiving, a month of it is PLENTY.

I love the day when the tree comes down, the decorations get put away, the house gets back to normal, and no more non-stop Christmas music on the radio. Ah, only 24 more hours to go!

Merry Christmas!

YAY! Merry Christmas, everyone! Hope your day is as awesome, chill, and fun as mine has and is continuing to be. I get to talk to my sister again today (4 hours yesterday)! Can't wait! I love that little baby cakes so much! She's my BFF and the best sister in the world.

Anyway, Merry Christmas. Hope everyone got what they wanted! I know I sure did!

did i mention?

• I love my real family

• I love my pretend family
• I love my baby sis 
• I love Joey Cat
• I love all of my friends 
• I miss all of my friends that don't reside in Cedar City.
• I am STOKED I passed all of my classes and am no longer on Academic Probation!
• I can't wait to go back to school on Jan. 4, 2010!
• My Jr. Jazz team is jazzy, and I think it's absolutely fab.
• I have a car and that's a big accomplishment for me at this point in my life. 
• My bed is better than your bed, unless you're April cause her bed is AMAZING.
• I am excited to learn to play my Ukulele, finally. 
• The only thing I've had to "eat" today is a Rockstar this morning for breakfast. I think my stomach is eating itself. 
• I can't wait to go eat Taco's with my "family"
• I get to talk to my baby sis on Thursday! YAY!
• My parents are most definitely cooler than yours. Sorry, but you should be jeal. 
• My friends have the cutest kids on earth. Every single one of them. And I'm glad that I can be their "Aunt Jill". I like that. 
• I feel so happy. I haven't been this happy in a while. Pretty much, my life rocks right now and I wouldn't trade it for anything...unless you're offering to take me the Hawaii. That could most definitely be arranged.
  

my (pretend) fam

I'd just like to give a shout out to my pretend family, because although they aren't blood related they are some of my very best friends and without them I'd be pretty lonely/pathetic (not to say that I'm not pathetic regardless). Plus, my real family is pretty awesome as well. I'm just a lucky duck. Anyway, I'd like to introduce ya'll to my (pretend) family.

Most of you will recall my ex-running partner, April. April and I have been friends since H.S. (high school, duh) and have played on teams together, been running partners, started the VCCPDC (volunteer Cedar City Police Department Crew, duh), and co-presidents of the B.R.A. (nunya business what that means). Besides all of those fine accomplishments, April is like a sister to me and I love her to death. And she's gonna kill me for posting this picture, but since she won't let people take real pics of her...this is all I got! SUCKA!

The next member of my (pretend) family that I'd like to introduce is Tennile. Tennile and I have only been friends for about a year, but she is one of the sweetest and most caring people I've ever met. She is always up for a good time and willing to try new things, which is probably the raddest thing on earth. I know that if I ever need anything, I can count on Tennile! Love her guts.

The newest member of my (pretend) fam is John. Now, although I've only known John for a couple of months, he's probably one of the funniest people I've ever met. John is hilarious. Seriously, pretty much everything that comes out of John's mouth makes me laugh. He's a riot. John and I are slowly, but surely, making a uke band. We both have ukes and neither of us can actually play them, but we're working on it. We finally got them tuned last night...so we're well on our way.












And so there you have it...my pretend family. Although various other people attend on occasion, it's normally the four of us just chillin'. We welcome and encourage anyone to attend our nightly family dinners, basketball sessions, and ukulele jams, so if you weren't mentioned but would like to be a part of our "family", feel free. We don't discriminate.

more pics from photo shoot

Dear Body,

I don't know what else you want me to do? I went to bed at 8pm last night and slept until 10am, why are you still tired? Wake the eff up.

Love,

Jill

yeah, just call me nanny jill...

Today I got to play with my favorite kids on earth, minus their baby sis Kenlee. I picked them up from daycare at 3pm and the fun began...First we went to the new pet store in Cedar, which by the way is awesome! We held all sorts of animals and spent a while just looking around. After that we decided we'd have a photo shoot so we could give new pics of them to their mom. We ran home, changed clothes, and I attempted to do Kaidence's hair. I have no idea why I try to do other peoples hair when I rarely do my own, but that's beside the point!

Here's what we came up with:

Those are just a few of the many shots we took. Aren't these the cutest kids you've ever seen?! It was so cold outside and I thought we might die, but we made it!

P.S. don't judge my photography skills. I'm just tryin' to be creative for Amanda's Christmas present this year...and this is all I got. Take it or leave it, baby.

the week of basketball and stuff

This week seemed to FLY by so quickly that I barely even realized that tomorrow is FRIDAY! (well actually it will be Friday in 10 short minutes, yay!)

This week was pretty good. No school, tons of basketball, and a little bit of work. We had two practices for the 7th/8th grade team I'm coaching and the girls are actually starting to remember the plays, so it's getting to be less of a nightmare. Tonight I was the only coach there (out of 4), but it went well and we had a blast...and I guess that's the important thing at this age. I have to keep telling myself it's okay if they aren't very good because "the important thing is that they have fun"...Secretly, I wanna rip my hair out and give up on them sometimes but then they do or say something so funny that I can't help but just smile and remember that it's gonna be okay.

On Tuesday I took Kaidence, Mark and Kenlee to the SUU vs. UNLV mens basketball game. Holy moly it was a good game....until the second half. It was still lots of fun, even if SUU did get their asses kicked in the end. The kids had a blast and they definitely reminded me of why I don't have my own kids! Three kids is A LOT of freaking work--even if they are behaving! Thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow her kids when I feel like I want a baby. It cures me every time! Love their guts, but so glad I don't have any.

Wednesday was totally intense. April and I went to the CHS vs. CVHS boys basketball games. Yes, games. We watched 3 games in a row, totalling to 5 hours of sitting on the oh-so-horrible-bleachers. CHS won all the games and it was a totally fun day. PLUS, I found a little hottie to crush on. I mean, I know I'm 24 and he's like 17, but MAN...I'm Cedar High's biggest fan now. WATCH OUT!

And for all of you worried parents out there...

NO, I'm not really going to hunt down the sexy little 17 year old CHS basketball player...yet. 

I'll wait til he's legal, at least!  

life and stuff

• I get to talk to Enna tomorrow. Ask me if i'm excited? And if you really had to ask, you don't know me. 
• I'm at work tired as hell right now. I'd rather be in bed.
• Snow=my worst nightmare
• I'm in a slump.
• I GET TO TALK TO MY BFF TOMORROW!
  

guess what?!

i'm done with school (this semester), Bitches! 


hahaha 

and i even passed my classes. yayyyyyy

my holidays will be spent doing...

1. Sleep. I feel so deprived of the stuff lately that I can hardly function at times. My life got turned upside down when I had to start going to school every morning by 8am. I know, that's not even super early..but for me, it's death. So over Christmas break, I'll be catchin' some zzzzzz's for sure!

2. Work. Duh...gotta do it. If you ever wonder where I am (and I'm not sleeping), I'll be at the Depot. Drop by and say hello. :)

3. Basketball. Ah, yessss. We went and shot around last night; I need to start going more often because I love it and I suck.

4. Traveling. I mean, not far or anywhere super exotic. But I have plans...and I'm excited for them. Be jeal.

5. Family. I'll play some cards, eat some candy, probably watch a few flicks and just chill with the fam. It's been a few years since I was able to enjoy them over Christmas. Can't wait.

6. Friends. I'm sure I'll get lots of play time with the friends in over the break (because I make time with work and school, so I'm sure it'll be fine without school!).

Wow...this turned out to be quite the boring list. Now here's something to spice up my life (and probably yours too) a little...

HERE'S WHAT I WISH I WAS DOING OVER CHRISTMAS BREAK:
1. partying every day all day non-stop.
2. dance parties
3. eating unlimited amounts of grilled cheese
4. moving to NYC and opening our bar called "meet me upstairs"
5. driving across the country, stopping everytime I feel like it.
6. going to some jazz games; having them actually win!
7. and, sleep, of course. because you know what i say.."gotta sleep now, cause they won't let me in hell"

only 3 finals to go, baby!!

I did it! I think that I passed all my classes! 


I only have 3 finals to go and I'm done for this semester. Feels good! Ah, yes. Christmas vaca, here I come! 
(and by that I mean, HELLO DEPOT!)

ah, someone else has a crazier family than i do....

This weekend I was able to take a random road trip to the Salt Lake area with John and Britt tagged along, too. First we dropped John off in Provo and headed for Lehi where I was able to see Trentie Poo for the first time in a couple of months. Then Annie Brown came over and got me after work and we went to sleep.

Yesterday I went with Annie and her family to her dad's moms house. When we walked in, the very first thing anyone asked was if I was her girlfriend (she had warned me that this would be happening). I replied that, "yes, I was" and that we were engaged. I had a sick nasty heart ring on to prove it...Anyway, the next few hours were to say the least very interesting. I have always known my family was kind of quiet and possibly on the boring side, but I could have never imagined how "normal" they really are until this exeperience at Annie's family ginger bread decorating contest.

Some highlights of the day were:
1. Annie's lesbian cousin's GF almost beating Annie's obnoxious brother up, at least twice. She had a glare that could kill.

2. Annie's ginger bread house not staying together even though she has had years of practice; mine was awesome.

3. The drive up and back. John makes things fun.

4. Seeing Trentie Poo and Annie B. I miss their guts so much.

5. Pretending to date Annie Brown, the most Mormon girl I know, in front of her entire family.

Thanks John for letting me drive up with you! I had a freakin' blast!

ECRC got some fence poles!!

You heard it, the ECRC got posts for a fence!! I didn't take a pic because it was dark and snowing, but don't worry, I'll get it soon enough.

I just knew that all of you would be so happy to hear this good news! YAY!

i should probably document this or do my hair more often...

and by "do my hair", I really just mean not having it in a nasty side pony tail...

yeah, post my on the jazzy hoe blog...i dare you.

my thankful list of 2009

Okay, so here's the dealio. I used to love making lists and I did it often. But this year I feel like if I tried to make a thankful list I would go on for three years and I'd still miss a bunch! This year has been one of growth, happiness, and a lot of learning. Since so much has happened and I have so many things to be grateful for, I think I'll just say that this year has been grand.

I am very thankful for my friends and my family and for always supporting me. Love you all!

thug thursday thanksgiving

These pictures pretty much sum up my Thanksgiving this year...

It was a good day thanks to Joey Bear, the rest of my awesome fam, and Thug Thursday. Dinner was great, movie with the sis-in-law was good, and hangin' with Joe Bear all day was fantastic. I love my family so much and I'm glad I got to spend Thanksgiving with them this year. I'm sad my baby sis couldn't be here, but we'll have plenty more years together at the kids table in the livingroom. Livin' the dream, baby.