just some random thoughts

Today while I was at the hospital in the waiting room with my grandpa we somehow got on the subject of death. He was talking about my uncle who passed about last November and how he was a good man and all that jazz. Then we started talking about my cousin, Kristen, who also passed about last November. We talked about funny things that we remembered about her and stuff and then he said, "well it's too bad she went to hell". I was kind of shocked, but mostly sad. I sat there unsure of what I should say. I waited a minute and then I just told my grandpa that I'm sure she didn't go to hell. He looked at me like I was crazy and I told him that the God I believe in loves everyone and that Kristen was a good person. I told him what I believed and he seemed kind of shocked. I love my grandpa and I didn't want to be rude...good thing it was him that told me that or I probably would have freaked out. I know he means well and just believes what he believes.

So now I'm wondering...does my grandpa really believe that just because someone was an alcoholic they are going to hell? And not just "someone", she is his granddaughter and he loves her. Is there some unwritten code in the LDS church that says if someone is an addict they are obviously bad people? Bad enough to be damned for all eternity? I do not believe so. Not one tiny little bit. I can't speak from an "LDS" or religious standpoint but I know that I sure as hell wouldn't want to be associated with something that would have me believe that my loved ones are "going to hell" because they didn't conform to my same beliefs.

I believe that God is loving and kind. I believe that we all fight different battles and God knows what is in our hearts. I believe that God wants the best for us. I do not believe that because someone isn't how we think they should be, that they are going to hell. Eff that.
 Maybe I'm just a young, dumb girl. All I know is that I will never believe in a God that would punish someone for something they had been fighting their entire life. No thanks.

Sorry for the rant..

Oh, and yes, I love my grandpa dearly. This is not about him. This was just in general. 

Tuesday already?

Seems like my "day off" isn't really a day off at all. I want a vacation!

• I'm grateful that I got to spend time with my grandpa today. 
• I'm grateful that I got to show up and be there for gramps when he needed someone. 
• I'm grateful that I believe what I believe. 
• I'm grateful to have good health.
• I'm grateful to still have all my grandparents.
• I'm grateful I was able to sneak away and go to the noon AA meeting.
• I'm grateful that I got to sleep. I may have wasted my night off doing it, but it sure felt good.
• I'm grateful for my roomie. She did my dishes. Lots of them. 
• I'm grateful for lotion. I love it. 
• I'm grateful for yarn? haha
• I'm grateful for diet Coke. What would my life be like without it? 
• I'm grateful for my dad. He's the best person I know.
• I'm grateful for my grandma. It was so cute to see her kiss my grandpa goodbye today when I picked him up. I love how in love they are, even after all these years. 
• I'm grateful for family. My family.
• I'm grateful I bought a groupon coupon for Dairy Queen a few weeks ago. I used it today and it was well worth it. 
• I'm grateful for Calv. He's a butt head sometimes, but he's so cute when he's sleeping on the pillow next to me. 
• I'm grateful to have an HP that loves everyone. Including me. 
• I'm just grateful today, that's all.