the 2010 airborne crisis

Once upon a time there was a girl named Jill, that's me.

She woke up like this:

After a trip to the store and buying some:

Jill put the tablet in a cup:

After waiting a few minutes, Jill drank the water/Airborne mixture. Uh-oh...it wasn't dissolved all the way.

Jill starting choking:

Since she's dramatic she ran downstairs, unable to breathe, and woke up her sister Anne:

Anne didn't know what to do, so after a few seconds the tablet dislodged itself. Jill and Anne laughed.

Anne went back to bed. Jill felt awesome and went to school.

No. I refuse to eat your food unless.....

Earlier today I decided to eat at In & Out Burger. Yummy.

Then I noticed the ridiculous uniforms that the employees are required to wear. Why??? I mean, I can understand the point of having uniforms and sometimes they even look nice. What I do not understand is why on earth someone who is opening a business would purposefully choose for their employees to look so ridiculous.

After thinking long and hard I came up with some possible arguments:

1. The owners are ugly and want their employees to be on their level...or below.
2. They want customers to find pleasure in seeing these poor employees dressed like clowns. 
3. The owners actually think the uniforms are flattering and look decent. 

I, for one, think it's very degrading and unnecessary for employees who work at fast food chains and otherwise to wear hideous uniforms that provide nothing extra that regular clothes couldn't. 

Excuse me while I go write letters to owners of all fast food chains to complain about how they are all assholes and bitter. Included in the letter I'll request that employees have uniforms that look more like this:

scrabble: my one true love

 Since it's Valentines Day today I thought I'd share with you my love of scrabble. I think I would marry it if I could, so it must be love, right? I don't remember when my love for scrabble began, but I know it was around age 4. My mom has always been an avid word person; she loves scrabble. I remember watching my parents play scrabble for hours on end. I was fascinated by the game and always wanted to play with them.

When I was around 9 years old, I met Lily (and Max) when they moved in across the street from us. They were in their 60's at that time, I think. Anyway, Lily also had a passion for words and was an excellent scrabble master. I would go to her house every Sunday and she would play with me, teach me new words, and show me strategies. Looking back on these times I can only imagine how frustrating that might have been for her. I mean, I was 9 years old and she was brilliant.

The older I got, the less appealing scrabble became. I didn't want to play Scrabble...I wanted to be cool. I don't think I played more than ten times my entire high school career. And then it happened. My boyfriend at the time left on his mission and I needed a hobby. My mom got out the Scrabble board and it's been history ever since. I love Scrabble. I love speed Scrabble, regular scrabble, any kind of Scrabble.

I love Scrabble so much that I want to dedicate an entire room to the cause if I ever get my own pad. I want a Scrabble table (Lily has an amazing one), clock, pictures, pillows, etc. Trust me, I have it all planned out. It will be awesome. And then maybe one day I'll play in a Scrab tourny. How RAD would that be?!

P.S. I have decided I want to start collecting Scrabble boards or anything to do with the game. So, if you're ever wondering what I want for my birthday (Sept. 4) or Christmas, you know what to get me!

i knew this day would come...just didn't think it'd be this soon!

Today I was having a convo with my little bro Joey. If you don't know Joey, you're missing out. Anyway, it went a little something like this:
Me: Hey Joe Bear! Guess what?! You're almost 17! CRAZY! You're getting so big. I hate it. 
Joey: Jill. I'm still in high school. I'm not old.
Me: Well Joey, you're gonna be 18 in like a year! What the H!
Joey: Ha, I know! I can't wait.
Me: Do you know how old I am? 
Joey: hmmm...I forgot.
Me: I'm 24. Gross. I'm gonna be 25 in September.
Joey: Ew, you're almost 30! You'll be a freak!
Me: Joey, don't be mean! (pretending to cry)
Joey: Well...Jill, get real.

What the hell? My little brother thinks I'm old. Not just getting older, but old. Like old maid status. I think I'm gonna die. I mean, I know I'm gettin' to the "old maid" status in Utah world but that's not a problem for me. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is the fact that I only have five years until I'm actually "old". EEK!

 Good thing I love Joey...a lot. Otherwise he might have been punched in the face or something. 

i'm the smartest person on earth

Literally. I swear I'm so smart it hurts sometimes...and then days like yesterday happen.

I woke up early, showered, got ready, and was actually out the door by 8:40am. If you know me, you know that's a major feat. Usually being 20 minutes late to class is good for me. I planned to leave early because of the freaking 20 feet of snow we got the night before so that I could thaw my car, scrape the windows and find a decent parking space at school.

Anyway, so at 8:40 am I rushed out my door, forgot my backpack, ran back inside and grabbed it and started my car. Since it was a million degrees below zero, I decided to let my car do the work on getting the ice off my windshield so I wouldn't have to scrape it. I revved up my engine (about 20 times), sprayed it with ice melting stuff and waiting about five minutes. Then I tried to leave. Uh, why isn't my car moving?? I mean, I know I drive a tiny little car that isn't bigger than a 4-wheeler...but really?? It didn't budge. I tried again. And again...and again! For about ten minutes I sat there trying to get my car to move and it was just not working. Blah. I woke up early for this?! LAME!

So I called my dad (he saves me a lot). He said he'd come get me. In the meantime, I was STILL revving up my engine trying to get somewhere. I noticed my neighbor walking up to help me, so I rolled down my window and she told me to try reversing. Still nothing. WTF is wrong with my stupid car?!

And then I noticed the emergency brake was still on...oops.

I took it off and reversed (just to appease the neighbor) and sped away.

Moral of the story:
Sometimes on days like this it reminds me that I'm really not that smart and maybe I should be less of a bitch.Oh, and that I EFFING hate snow more than anything on earth...or at least pretty close to that.

Yes mom and dad, I still made it to class only one minute late. Be proud. xoxo

kissing with Jill: 1010

A kiss is a kiss...Or is it? Sometimes I wonder why it's so much fun to kiss some people and so awful to kiss others?

Note: This is just me thinking at 4am. Lets not read too much into this post, okay? :)

I'm not going to lie, I've kissed a lot of people in my day. I'm not ashamed and I'm not bragging, it's just a fact. It's weird how sometimes there is an insta connection (what we like to call chemistry) and sometimes there is an insta turn-off.

I'm waiting for the day that I am with someone who I can actually like and have chemistry with. So far it seems I've got one or the other, but not both--here's to hoping that one day it'll happen.

Top 5 things I require to be satisfied with a kiss:
1. No cold sores. Or any sores at all. I might love you, but I don't have to like you (or your sore).

2. Don't drool on me, please and thank you. You aren't a baby, keep it under control.

3. Chapstick is rad. Use it. I don't wanna eat your dead lip skin.

4. Lets be comfortable with one another. I guess I don't need to know your name as long as I feel okay about being with you...

5. Take it easy. My face isn't food and you're not starving. Just relax.

Over the past couple of years I had decided that I didn't like to cuddle, be touched, etc. I have recently decided to revoke that notion. I like it.